*NEW* THE MUMMY REVIEW *NEW*

Oh Mumma, the horror, the horror! Bring back Brendan Fraser! An ancient Egyptian princess (Sofia Boutella) is awakened from her crypt beneath the desert, bringing with her malevolence grown over millennia, and terrors that defy human comprehension. Okay, it wasn’t that bad BUT it wasn’t that great either. To be honest, the opening act didn’t … Continue reading *NEW* THE MUMMY REVIEW *NEW*

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*NEW* MOTHER REVIEW *NEW*

Oh MOTHER! That was bad. A couple's relationship is tested when uninvited guests arrive at their home, disrupting their tranquil existence. I guess I wasn't as big an Aronofsky fan as I thought. The very epitome of a Marmite movie. For some, an existential dissection of life through religious allegory. For me, a meandering mess … Continue reading *NEW* MOTHER REVIEW *NEW*

*NEW* VALERIAN AND THE CITY OF A THOUSAND PLANETS REVIEW *NEW*

Dull-Erian. Trust me, that pun was as clever and witty as the dialogue and plot. Sheesh. What has happened to Luc Besson? The man who gave us The Fifth Element, Leon: The Professional, Taken, The Transporter. Okay, yes. He also made Taken 2, Taken 3, Lucy, Transporter 2, Transporter 3 - you get the idea. … Continue reading *NEW* VALERIAN AND THE CITY OF A THOUSAND PLANETS REVIEW *NEW*

STAR TREK BEYOND 3D REVIEW

Star Trek be-yawwwnnneed. The USS Enterprise crew explores the furthest reaches of uncharted space, where they encounter a new ruthless enemy (Ol' Luther - I mean, Idris Elba) who puts them and everything the Federation stands for to the test. I’m NOT the biggest Trekkie BUT I have really enjoyed the Abram reboots. Shaking up … Continue reading STAR TREK BEYOND 3D REVIEW

*NEW* KING ARTHUR: LEGEND OF THE SWORD REVIEW *NEW*

I don't know what was worse; David Beckham's cameo or the movie altogether. Thy verdict is in and its all apples and pears, san. Robbed of his birthright, Arthur (Charlie Hunnam) comes up the hard way in the back alleys of the city. But once he pulls the sword from the stone, he is forced … Continue reading *NEW* KING ARTHUR: LEGEND OF THE SWORD REVIEW *NEW*

*NEW* ALIEN: COVENANT REVIEW *NEW*

Even in space, no one should see this dreadful Alien prequel. The crew of a colony ship, bound for a remote planet, discover an uncharted paradise with a threat beyond their imagination, and must attempt a harrowing escape. Sound familiar? It should. For the love of God, Ridley Scott. Just stop. I can respect the … Continue reading *NEW* ALIEN: COVENANT REVIEW *NEW*

*NEW* EXPOSED REVIEW *NEW*

Some secrets are better left buried. A bit like this film, really. Absolutely bloody dreadful. A police detective (Keanu Reeves) investigates the truth behind his partner's death. A case that unearths disturbing police corruption and a dangerous secret involving an unlikely young woman (Ana de Armas). Or so the synopsis would lead you to believe. … Continue reading *NEW* EXPOSED REVIEW *NEW*