*NEW* PAPER TOWNS REVIEW *NEW*

It may have had a paper plot BUT I was still able to enjoy this coming of age teen flick.

A light pace and a promising cast made up for a cheesy and predictable affair.

After an all night adventure, Quentin’s (Nat Wolff) life-long crush, Margo (Cara Delevigne), disappears, leaving behind clues that Quentin and his friends follow on the journey of a lifetime.

I’m not familiar with the novel so I can’t make comparisons. All I knew was that it was from the author who created ‘The Fault in Our Stars’. A film that managed to subdue the cynic in me. And, for the majority of this film, was able to do so again.

The film was easygoing enough as we follow the bookworm Q moping after the rebellious Margo from early childhood up to present.

Wolff played Quentin very well. I was a little anxious about all the hype surrounding Delevigne’s debut. Not every model can make the transition to acting. Naomi Campbell, I’m looking at you. We could all list a number of Playboy models that shouldn’t be popping up in movies (Just me? Oh, okay moving on).

BUT as soon as Delevigne graced the silver screen, she won me over. I thought she was very good. She nailed the accent and could actually act! If anything, she wasn’t in it enough. BUT then there wouldn’t be a movie if she was.

The first half hour chugged along. The night adventure with Q was silly, BUT funny in parts, as the pair pranked those who had hurt Margo. Innocent enough. Wrapping a car in cling film. Waxing a dude’s eyebrow off. Wiping vasoline on a door knob (Had to be careful typing that one). That is until one of the parents fired a shotgun.

BUT it was still entertaining as we watched the estranged pair reignite their friendship and something more. Delevigne and Wolff had good chemistry and made the hammy romance subplot a bit more bearable.

BUT things got a little bit more interesting as Margo disappears the next day. Leaving a variety of clues. Setting Q and his chums on a little road trip.

The clue searching and mini scavenger hunt broke up the insufferable teen melodrama as Q becomes obsessed in finding the girl of his dreams. Luckily, it got by with a little help with some friends.

Austin Abrams and Justice Smith were brilliant as Q’s pals Ben and Radar. Abrams came out with some cracking lines as Ben. His fantastic “social skills” putting the lads into more awkward situations. Smith was hilarious as Radar. I loved the quirky back story involving his parents and an eclectic collection of black Santas.

They were a great trio and kept the film moving. I wasn’t really that bored and that’s saying something after the duds I’ve had to endure this month. The whole journey story line reeked of Stand By Me. Be it a more teeny and cheesy one. Stand By Me Zero. Especially when *POSSIBLE SPOILERS* a young Margo and Q find a dead body, alarm bells started ringing.

I couldn’t help making comparisons as the film carried on. The school friends embarking on a journey. One that would inevitably change their lives.

It was a little too light for my liking. I couldn’t help but feel nostalgic when the guys chanted the Pokemon theme to pump themselves up before creeping through a dodgy looking tunnel. A guilty chuckle for me.

The journey was corny and I felt the introduction of Halston Sage and Jaz Sinclair’s characters hampered things a little. Only because the outcome was so obvious. Although I did laugh at Radar’s constant confessing to Sinclair’s character on every little thing.

I didn’t expect a cameo from a certain actor during the petrol station scene either. Keep an eye out 😉

It was all a little corny as you realise that the journey is something much more. It was merely a chance for the guys to come to terms with the fact that they are moving away and embarking on a new journey. College, life, etc.

They bicker and gripe BUT you just know that everything will be alright in the end. It’s just that kind of film. And the pace did dip in places.

The closing moments, however, took me by surprise. It’s tough NOT to write about it without spoiling anything. BUT it was handled brilliantly and left an upbeat message that the young whipper snappers should listen to and the older cynics (Like yours truly) as well.

A talented cast makes this easygoing, if predictable, drama highly watchable. I can think of worse ways to kill 90 minutes.

3(Just)/5

*NEW* THE GIFT REVIEW *NEW*

Joel Edgerton’s debut is a gift that needs returning.

Slow, dreary and dreadfully predictable. Disappointed doesn’t even come close.

A young married couple’s lives are thrown into a harrowing tailspin when an acquaintance from the husband’s past brings mysterious gifts and a horrifying secret to light after more than 20 years.

That synopsis makes it sound so much more interesting that it really was.

Now I’ve been a fan of Edgerton for some time ever since his turn in Kinky Boots and Warrior. I really had high hopes for his directorial debut. A great cast do their best BUT you can’t hide a lifeless thriller with a surprisingly flat twist.

The opening got the ball rolling quite early. It set up the premise within five minutes. Couple. House. Creepy friend. Excellent. Let the game of cat and mouse begin.

The first half hour I was happy to allow the characters to develop. Always remembering that the inevitable was creeping around the corner. BUT by the hour marker, I was praying for it to come quicker (Steady now).

It was great to see Jason Bateman tackle a serious film for a change. I just wish he had a meatier role. He really excelled in the darker moments (which tragically there wasn’t enough of) and had good chemistry with Rebecca Hall.

Rebecca Hall is a very good actress but has this knack of featuring in mediocre films. Transcendence, anyone? She had an impeccable accent and carried the film for me. Lucky. Considering the film was very much focused on her character. The pawn in a very boring game of chess.

Edgerton was perfect as the troubled Gordo. The film picked up every time he appeared. To be honest, his numerous drop-ins at the family home felt like a minor inconvenience more than a stalkerish obsession.

I was impressed with Edgerton’s supporting cast. It’s just a shame that he didn’t give them better characters. Alison Tolman (Fargo) was wasted as the neighbour. It was extremely annoying because there was a strange moment in which Edgerton suggested something more suspect about her.

When Robyn (Hall) first meets Tolman’s character, she notices the baby is left crying in the back of the car. Hidden behind a veil. There was a slight Rosemary’s Baby vibe. BUT in the next frame, we have Robyn cradling the baby. It could have been a play on Hall’s paranoia BUT more should have been made of it.

How did Busy Philips from Dawson’s Creek get in this? She might as well have NOT been. Wendell Pierce was pretty much playing Bunk from the Wire. The same tired face and exasperated expression. Great for a Wire fan. Poor for anyone else. And he was only it in for 30 seconds and was completely redundant.

Eduard Grau’s cinematography may have provided a murky look to this supposedly “murky” thriller. But you can’t a polish a tur- turgid drama.

I’m happy to allow a slow burning thriller to unfold. If the pay-off delivers. The inevitable creepy tension as Gordo’s numerous appearances go from annoying to unsettling was too predictable. I could feel myself ticking everything off a check list. It was too formulaic. They have a pond. He buys them fish. They throw him out. He kills the fish. Oh no, they have a dog. What’s going to happen there?

It was inevitable that Gordo was a ticking timebomb. If anything Bateman’s reaction was more questionable as he finally lets his new guest know that he has overstayed his welcome. This is where the film did get a little more interesting as Simon’s (Bateman) past is called into question.

The cheap jump out of your seat scares felt desperate as the film continued to stagger along. I thought the shower sequence was merely a ploy to make sure the audience were still awake. Quick jump. Aaah! Right. Still with us? Back to the film.

The closing fifteen minutes finally delivered what I had expected from the rest of the film. A tense slow burning stand-off with the inevitable twist rearing its ugly head. And credit where it’s due; the twist was actually an interesting one. And I did appreciate Edgerton’s little nod to the Usual Suspects.

It did leave you pondering as the credits rolled. A nice touch. But once I got out of the cinema and into my car, I realised I had still wasted two hours for a mediocre conclusion and the revelation hardly matched all the mystery and hype.

Patchy at best but very disappointing for all the promise. Mr Edgerton, spend less time on wrapping and more time on picking a better present, eh.

2.5/5

*NEW* TRAINWRECK REVIEW *NEW*

Was it one big train wreck?

I was a little anxious to see this. I couldn’t get into Girls, didn’t mind Bridesmaids but have always found Apatow’s works a little hit and miss.

BUT it’s always good to be proved wrong. Move over, Miss McCarthy. I have a new lady in my life. Well played, Miss Schumer.

Having thought that monogamy was never possible, a commitment-phobic career woman (Amy Schumer) may have to face her fears when she meets a good guy (Bill Hader).

It’s hardly perfect but I can actually say that I came out of the cinema smiling for the right reasons.

I wasn’t convinced by the opening as we watch a young Amy and Quinn (Brie Larson) being educated by their deadbeat dad (Colin Quinn) after being caught cheating. His analogy using dolls was hilarious.

From that moment, we see the anti-monogamy chants drilled into a young Amy Schumer. 20-odd years down the line and we have our protagonist. Sleeping around, getting drunk, and effing jeffing. I’ve never really found that stuff funny. It got a little repetitive BUT it introduced the selfish and quick witted monster perfectly. Her one liners rolled off a little too fast for me. They didn’t really flow.

HOWEVER, once the film found its tempo, I enjoyed it. Schumer’s improvisation and messing around were generally on the ball. There were patches where she went on just a little bit. There was a moment where Larson and Schumer were looking at pictures of their mother and Amy starts talking about her boobs. It ruined a nice moment and wasn’t that funny.

It’s always a gamble on calling a scene when you’re firing off belters; “Stop walking like the Hulk. I can see that you’re mad”. BUT what helped was that Schumer was assisted by a surprisingly funny supporting cast. John Cena. Words escape me. He was absolutely brilliant. Some of the best acting I’ve seen him do. EVER. Well, since WWE.

He stole every scene from failing at dirty talk in the bedroom to his homo-erotic put downs during an altercation at the cinema. I also loved the short film being played in the cinema scene. The “pretentious” Dog Walker skit featuring Daniel Radcliffe and Marisa Tomei got a chuckle. If anything, I wanted to see more of that.

Tilda Swinton as Amy’s boss Dianna was a mixed bag for me. Her put downs and random story telling were bloody mental. BUT I couldn’t get over her raspy Cockney accent. She made the regulars in Eastenders look like Oxford scholars. What was she playing at?

There wasn’t enough of SNL’s Vanessa Bayer for me as Amy’s naive work colleague. LeBron James was very funny. Not all athletes can make the transition to the big screen but he nailed it! From his strop about Downton Abbey to his endless scrimping and bickering over paying the bill. Scrimping? With all those millions? Come on.

It was also good to see Bill Hader playing it straight faced. It was a fresh change and proved the guy can do deadpan and do it well. The crazier moments were certainly left for Miss Schumer. And she most certainly delivered. They had excellent chemistry which really made their inevitable pairing that much more enjoyable.

My main problem with Apatow’s movies is the running length. This is 40 and Funny People were okay films but went on far too long. This film did not need to be two hours long. After the hour marker with the relationship unwittingly taking hold, things did slacken.

It’s all relatable as Amy tries to fight her feelings but it wasn’t very funny. Easygoing enough. I had hoped that the scenes with Brie Larson would have been more entertaining. If it wasn’t for the odd witticism from Schumer, I would have cut them. And things did seem to take a more serious turn.

The subplot involving their dad in a care home never really got going for me. Amy’s character had more than enough flaws to keep things watchable. It felt tacked on and did hamper things. Even if Method Man was his nurse. You read that right.

BUT luckily the film found a second wind as Amy inevitably goes out of her way to complicate matters. The squabbling and tests certainly added an extra depth to the couple. BUT the only problem was that the end result was always going to be the same.

The closing scene was unbelievably corny. I mean it totally fit for all the in-jokes that Schumer and Hader had between each other. BUT at the same time, it didn’t quite fit the overall tone of the film after such a serious middle act with Amy re-evaluating her life. It was all or nothing.

When it’s funny, it’s on fire. When it’s not, it’s a little more testing but certainly watchable. I’ll be more looking forward to Schumer’s next offering.

A trainwreck? Hardly.

3/5

*NEW* HOT PURSUIT REVIEW *NEW*

Pursue no further!

Oh how the mighty have fallen. Well, Reese Witherspoon anyway.

This feeble affair desperately tried to be a sillier version of The Heat but it just left me cold. From the opening montage, you knew what sort of film you were getting yourself into. A bad one.

An uptight and by-the-book cop (Witherspoon) tries to protect the outgoing widow (Sofia Vergara) of a drug boss as they race through Texas pursued by crooked cops and murderous gunmen.

This should have been called Hit and Miss. We follow a young Cooper (Witherspoon) as she is practically raised in the back seat of her father’s cop car. We have the delightfully dull and predictable snippets of Cooper’s prom dates, her first encounter with a transgender individual, oh and sharing Christmas with a drunken Santa.

Now credit where it’s due. I respect Witherspoon for going back to her comedy roots. Let’s not forget Rushmore and Legally Blonde. Maybe forget Legally Blonde 2. It was good to see that she’s still game for a laugh after achieving Oscar status. BUT the money must have been too good to turn down.

She does her best but overdoes it with every gag. Maybe to compensate for the fact that the gags were really not that good. Plus she does not stop talking. Her verbal diarrhoea really went through me. At 87 minutes, I feared that this would go on too long.

From the moment we watch Cooper chase after a suspect that turned out to be her date, I could feel my hopes dying. A misunderstanding with the phrase “I’ll call shotgun” set up an incident with a taser that I didn’t see coming. An incident that would make Cooper a laughing stock among the force; “Hey. Don’t Cooper that sh*t!”.

BUT now she has a chance to redeem herself. By helping escort a witness to a safe house. That witness being Gloria from Modern Family. Sorry, Sofia Vergara.

I really hoped she would play a different character. I love Gloria. But in small doses and on Modern Family. Not in this. It felt like a prequel of Gloria’s life before Jay. As soon as I heard her shrill cry through the security intercom, I feared the worst. Stunning though she may be, the shot of her wailing in a Cadillac will haunt me for some time.

The plot was by the numbers and boring. The double crossing and triple crossing was so predictable. Dodgy coppers, murderous hitmen, yawn. And what the hell was Sean (Robert Kazinsky) from Eastenders doing in this? He still hasn’t mastered a Southern accent. You would have thought he’d have enough practice after True Blood.

It was all over the place. Just like the tone of the film. I don’t think it knew what it wanted to be. It was silly and OTT in one instant with Reese caked in “sugar” from Vergara’s briefcase. Her insufferable verbal diarrhea now ignited into a full frenzy.

And then macabre and violent in the next with a red neck shooting his finger off after Vergara and Witherspoon fake being a pair of lesbians to avoid revealing their identities. Strange but it got a little chuckle.

What annoyed me was that the pair had good chemistry and sparked in certain scenes. And they seemed to work better when they improvised. Vergara actually grew on me as the film chugged along. It did try and get a little too actiony and serious in the finale which only came off incredibly hammy.

The jokes about shoes and sex were a little repetitive and stale for my liking. Lazy. The gag about Witherspoon’s “diaper” panties was a complete rip off of The Heat. I appreciate that they tried to follow in it’s footsteps. But all they really did was stumble and trip up in it’s shadow. A running gag with the media messing up the duo’s descriptions was okay to start with but it soon got old really quick.

The only real laugh that I got out of it was when Cooper had to wear a disguise to infiltrate a Columbian cartel. She looked like Justin Bieber and a wardrobe malfunction in a ladies toilet delivered. A diamond in the rough, apparently.

I think the closing credits summed everything for me. Before anyone could escape (If they hadn’t already), we had five to ten minutes of outtakes. I laughed more in those ten then I did in the 87. The improvising and mucking about should have been in the film. You saw a completely different and less annoying side to Vergara. She was actually quite funny. Why didn’t we get that in the film?

Instead we had the odd gag among a dozen duds spread across a dull and lifeless cop thriller. I would definitely say the mismatched tone really hampered things.

BUT I wouldn’t say that this was a mismatched pairing and for all it’s flaws, it was watchable. Thankfully to a short running time. If you’re looking for another Heat, then watch The Heat.

Two stars for the two leading ladies for doing their darndest.

FANTASTIC FOUR REVIEW

The Fantastic Four – The College Years, more like.

A mess. A watchable one but a mess all the same.

A pointless rehashing of the same old origin story does nothing for the franchise and somehow manages to make their flawed predecessors look like a masterpiece!

I’m not going to lie. I enjoyed the other Fantastic Four films. What? They never took themselves seriously and that was their winning charm. Okay, The Rise of the Silver Surfer really did push it but I liked the cast. And no! Not just because of Jessica Alba. They also stayed true to the source material.

Did Marvel and Sony just reboot it because they suddenly realised that the Human Torch was Captain America?! Because Alba and Ioan Gruffudd were certainly not past it.

A younger cast was certainly ambitious and smart (in theory) if there was to be more of the little money makers. BUT this latest offering from Chronicle director Josh Trank didn’t set things off with a bang, I’m afraid.

A contemporary re-imagining? Well, it certainly changed things about but it didn’t quite impress and no matter how much you changed the package, it was still the same old guff inside.

So what is this one about? Four young outsiders teleport to an alternate and dangerous universe which alters their physical form in shocking ways. The four must learn to harness their new abilities and work together to save Earth from a former friend turned enemy.

So no cosmic rays?! Crazy. The alternate dimension was a promising set up and had potential but it never really went anywhere. Merely a backdrop for their origin and for smash em up action. Nothing more.

The opening chugged along as we watch a young Reed Richards try and wow his uninterested school mates with inter dimensional travel and teleportation. Corny but watchable. He soon befriends a classmate whose family own the local scrap yard. That friend is Ben Grimm.

And that the rest is . . . A mess. I respect that the filmmakers tried to focus on aspects that the other films didn’t. Establishing Reed and Ben’s childhood friendship was a nice touch but it took up too much of the screen time. PLUS one of Marvel’s characters completely changing occupation? Astronaut to scrap nut? Really?

After some tame high school tomfoolery with a bitter Dan Castellaneta (Yes, Homer Simpson!), the film started heading in the right direction. Or so I thought. I kept saying to myself, “This is definitely just going to be build up”. BUT I didn’t care if the finale delivered.

The casting selections were a mixed bag. Miles Teller fared better as Reed Richards than I thought. When he was delivering quick witted sarcasm, I feared that he was just doing his usual spiel. BUT by the end, he made the role his own.

I didn’t have an issue with the “controversy” surrounding Michael B. Jordan as Johnny Storm. If anything, I had full confidence after seeing his impressive filmography. He was more than up to the task but he was just wasn’t given enough one liners or memorable dialogue. His Fast and Furious introduction got him into the mix well but his character was nowhere as charming or as entertaining as Chris Evans’ counterpart.

Kate Mara wasn’t that bad as Susan Storm BUT she was just too passive. Happy to let the guys get on with it. Alba was very active (Careful now) in the other movies. Plus how Mara’s Susan got her powers was a little silly. Seriously, an energy slap? You’ll know what I mean when you see it. The force field stuff was pretty cool, though.

Toby Kebbell was pretty good as Victor Von Doom. A much more troubled and demented villain. I always felt that Julian McMahon was too smug and smarmy for Dr Doom. An easily beatable Bond villain. BUT they rushed Kebbell’s transformation way too quickly and wasted a promising opportunity.

My biggest qualm with casting was The Thing. A Hulk-esque powerhouse. Chiklis was perfect for the role. So surely someone of his build and gravitas would be considered, right?

Jamie Bell.

Billy Flippin’ Elliott?! Tough guy? What? Surely not because he’s Northern? Behave. The muscle? What muscle? He’s a lanky git. Does The Thing dance in the comic books? Anyway . . .

The special effects weren’t bad on The Thing. If you don’t mind him looking like a rocky Cheeto. But the voice work? He didn’t even sound like Bell. So why choose him?

Reg E. Cathey was excellent as Dr Franklin Storm. The man that would unite them all. His voice. Move over, Morgan Freeman. He should have been a baddie with those gravelly tones. It was a shame that his character got pushed further into the background as the film continued.

Tim Blake Nelson played the creepy corporate drone well. The meddling middle man more concerned with money than welfare. BUT it was all too predictable. How could the young “geniuses” not know that he had a hidden agenda?

The action set pieces and CGI were like the superhero flick. Hit and miss. Impressive in one second and disorienting and cartoony the next. The force field tricks and Reed’s face changing were decent BUT by the finale, it was all too frantic. There was too much going on that the effects became one big blur.

It didn’t help that the tone was all over the place. It tried to be too serious which worked for the first hour but it also took away a lot of the fun. Dr. Doom’s introduction via a lab massacre was deliciously violent for its 12A rating. Promising.

BUT with its darker tone, Reed’s elastical talents didn’t fit. If anything, every time he threw an outstretched punch or kick, it was hilarious. It just didn’t tie in with the other’s abilities.

The plot was shoddy. We spent an hour waiting for the inevitable. Waiting for the gang to get their powers. Hardly spoilers but then . . . POSSIBLE SPOILERS! It flashes forward a year. All that build up and we don’t get to see the guys adjust to their abilities? Granted we had two films of that before but for all the build up and time invested, why the hell not?

Just a quick two minute summary? Really? What made me laugh was that for all it’s re-imagining; we still had Ben and Reed fight. Ben bitter over Reed breaking his promise to make him human again and the same old love triangle between Doom, Reed and Susan.

Credit where it’s due. The love triangle was merely suggested but you just know where it’s heading. The only thing that I did find interesting was how The Thing became an army weapon but we only got little video clips. Johnny uses a suit to switch on his abilities to “FLAME ON”. He never needed that before. If he takes it off, is he just fire? Hmmm . . . Didn’t really explain that.

The finale was rushed. Were they afraid to break the two hour marker or something? Doom was finally brought in. Things getting tasty. At last. Nope. They dispose of him in a matter of minutes. It didn’t help that it was done in such a dreadfully corny and deflating way. A chance to improve from the originals and somehow managing to make the same mistakes even worse.

The closing scenes promised the laughs and charm with the team finally gelling. A hint of more fun and cheesiness. But hang on, I thought that was why the other two were panned? I understand a young cast was an investment for more movies. BUT you kinda need to make people want to see more of them?

It just wasn’t good enough. It killed 100 minutes, I guess. There could be promise in the next installment but it should make you want to watch the next one. NOT consider it.

Pretty poor from the four.

2.5 (Just)/5

*I did laugh when I waited with a packed screen of eager Marvel fans through the endless credits. I’ll save you the time. There wasn’t any! No Stan Lee cameos (Well, he was in the other two, I guess). Nothing. Just a nice thank you for all the people who are keeping their jobs. I think some of them will be missing them after this flop.

THE GALLOWS REVIEW

The producers should hang their head in shame.

Ba-dum-tsssh! A lazy punch line for a lazy horror film!

20 years after a horrific accident during a small town school play, students at the school resurrect the failed show in a misguided attempt to honour the anniversary of the tragedy BUT soon discover that some things are better left alone.

Another found footage film haunts the cinema. Well for a week. Luckily. I think I’m going to give up on modern horror films. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Hollywood, just STOP. Horror fans STOP paying to see these films.

Thank God, I had a cinema pass. If I had paid a tenner for the last few horror films, I would be livid. The fact these new found footage horror films are getting increasingly low budget with any old amateur cast shows the desperation that Hollywood are resorting to. Getting a quick buck with cheap frights.

They are churned out so quickly and cliche ridden that you can almost tick everything off a check list. Predictable, dull and infuriating. No real tension, memorable ghoul or a decent character that you actually give two monkeys about.

It seemed like writers Travis Cluff and Chris Lofing just wrote a loose premise around the Charlie phenomenon (If you can call it a phenomenon) that stormed the Internet a few months ago. The little cheap scares did do the job. I’m not going to lie. There were moments where I actually winced as the shaky POV crept down a hallway or round a corner.

Silently waiting for our hooded figure to make his long overdue appearance. The only problem was that you really were left waiting. BUT the end result was the same old bloody thing.

The characters even use their real first names. If that doesn’t highlight the originality of the script or the lifeless protagonists then I don’t know what does?! This film was supposed to be 81 minutes. It felt a whole lot longer than that.

After a reasonably macabre opening sequence, the half hour that followed was just mindless cliched teen high school melodrama. Credit where it’s due. Ryan Shoos (Pretty Little Liars) who played the main camera guy did his best to keep things entertaining.

It drew the odd giggle BUT this is a horror film for God’s sake! I may not have been impressed with the overhyped It Follows but at least that knew how to create tension and an atmosphere. Instead we had insufferable waffle about the star quarterback trying to get with the theatre nerd. Awww . . . Yuck.

Pfeifer Brown played the theatre nerd well but her character was so cliched. I had no time for her. Secretly praying for Charlie every passing minute. Cassidy Gilford was certainly a stunner to look at BUT all she did was scream, cry or look into the camera to check out how good she looked. Come on!

Reese Mishler. If I could give an award for the best “Have I left the iron on?” expression, he would win hands down. His blank looks and hang dog expressions were hilarious. Unfortunately he wasn’t strong enough to play the lead but it didn’t help that his character was so weakly written in the first place.

Hyped up as the next horror icon of the new generation, I found Charlie the Hangman pretty tame. He certainly looked the part. A tall domineering cloaked hangman BUT the next Freddy or Jason?! BEHAVE!

Inevitably, he didn’t really make an appearance until the final 15 minutes and when he did; the film finally got going. BUT leaving us with mindless chatter, tension-less build up and a quick fright to stop you fidgeting for a crazy finale just isn’t enough!

The finale was frantic and had the odd scare. There was even a feeble attempt at a twist. BUT this twist (If you could call it that) was so predictable that I was more surprised that they even bothered.

The camera work was probably the truly horrific part. It felt like I was watching my dad handle the camera after having a few pints. I was getting a headache watching it. Every time something creepy did happen, the camera was on the floor. Plenty of snaps of Pfeifer’s feet. Not of flippin’ Charlie. Oh, I give up!

I can feel myself growing tired of endlessly critiquing these sort of films. Only for more of them to pop up and not even try to do anything differently. As long as people rush into see them, the producers will still make the money before anyone realises what a pile of rubbish they really are. I mean Unfriended, the Poltergeist remake, Knock Knock? Is that really the best that we can come up with?

Predictable, lazy, the odd fright reprieves this disorienting ham-flick for a brief moment. BUT still not enough to be haunting your local cinema.

1.5/5