*NEW* MERRY CHRISTMAS/THANKING YOU/TOP TEN BEST AND WORST OF 2015 *NEW*

auguri-santa

Merry Christmas you filthy animals!

A big thank you to anyone who has read, liked, favourited, tweeted, viewed, retweeted, reblogged (I think I got everything) and followed.

It hasn’t been the best year for film in 2015. One of few surprises and big disappointments (Star Wars and Hunger Games, I’m looking at you!)

With a backlog of nearly 50 films and a trip away to Latvia, this could potentially be my last post for the year :O I know. What will you do?

I will do my utmost in the New Year to bring a review a day and catch up with the backlog BUT I will reward with a little gift. My top best and worst films of 2015.

My criteria for best; Films that entertained, made me laugh, cry, feel any emotion other than anger. Films that engaged, intrigued and/or surprised. Enjoy. Debate. Discuss. Just bear with if I don’t get back too quickly.

For any sticklers out there, the criteria for 2015 is films I watched at the cinema during that time. I will attach my reviews for the ones I was actually able to complete.

MY TOP 10 FILMS OF 2015 are:

1. THE THEORY OF EVERYTHING

https://youtheman77.wordpress.com/2015/03/06/oscar-winner-t…thing-review-2/

2. X + Y

https://youtheman77.wordpress.com/2015/03/22/x-y-review/

3. THE MARTIAN

https://youtheman77.wordpress.com/2015/10/05/new-the-martian-review-new/

4. FAR FROM THE MADDING CROWD

https://youtheman77.wordpress.com/2015/05/04/far-from-the-m…g-crowd-review/

5. WOMAN IN GOLD

https://youtheman77.wordpress.com/2015/05/06/the-woman-in-gold-review/

6. THE WATER DIVINER

https://youtheman77.wordpress.com/2015/04/10/the-water-diviner-review/

7. SPECTRE

https://youtheman77.wordpress.com/2015/11/08/new-spectre-review-new/

8. BRIDGE OF SPIES

You can always bank on Hanks. Two wonderful performances from Hanks and Rylance. A tense, slow burning and brilliantly spy thriller.

9. INSIDE OUT

https://youtheman77.wordpress.com/2015/07/27/inside-out-review/

10. VACATION

What? No joke. Pardon the irony. This was one of the funniest films I’ve seen in some time. A film that reduced me to tears of laughter for the right reasons. It’s going in there.

And now the fun bit . . .

The criteria for worst films; Films that disappointed, made me want to leave, made me leave, feel angry, rant and rave and pretty much curse every single being attached to the project, really. There were so many. BUT here goes.

MY TOP TEN WORST FILMS OF 2015 ARE:

1.ANNIE

https://youtheman77.wordpress.com/2015/01/13/annie-review/

2. FOXCATCHER

https://youtheman77.wordpress.com/2015/01/25/foxcatcher-review/

3. THE GAMBLER

https://youtheman77.wordpress.com/2015/02/03/the-gambler-review/

4. TAKEN 3

https://youtheman77.wordpress.com/2015/02/08/taken-3-review/

5. IT FOLLOWS

https://youtheman77.wordpress.com/2015/03/04/it-follows-review/

6. WILD CARD

https://youtheman77.wordpress.com/2015/03/29/wild-card-review/

7. UNFINISHED BUSINESS

https://youtheman77.wordpress.com/2015/03/11/unfinished-business-review/

8.  UNFRIENDED

https://youtheman77.wordpress.com/2015/05/11/unfriended-review/

9. PARANORMAL ACTIVITY: THE GHOST DIMENSION

https://youtheman77.wordpress.com/2015/11/04/new-paranormal…ion-review-new/

10. EVEREST

https://youtheman77.wordpress.com/2015/10/25/new-everest-review-new/

And that’s all folks. Thank you so much for enjoying my mad rants. There are so many sites out there BUT I appreciate the 430 of you that read mine and my tweeps and the passing spectator.

Have a Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year.

Merry-Christmas-Ya-Filthy-Animal-movie-2015

*NEW* NO ESCAPE REVIEW *NEW*

No-Escape-Movie-Poster

There’s no escaping this tense little thriller.

In their new overseas home, an American family soon finds themselves caught in the middle of a coup, and they frantically look for a safe escape in an environment where foreigners are being immediately executed.

Suspenseful, pacy and brilliantly acted. An unexpected treat. This film nearly slipped under my radar. I’m glad I caught it.

A welcome return for Owen Wilson. He has proven before with Behind Enemy Lines that he can do serious acting and he succeeds yet again.

The set up was established quickly and got straight to it. The only thing that hampered the pace was Pierce Brosnan’s cringe-inducing cockney accent. It certainly didn’t help watching the chap sing karaoke. Come on, we already had Mammia Mia.

Apart from that, I was hooked for the first hour. I don’t think I even looked at my watch and that’s saying something. There was a fantastic sequence in which Wilson casually walks down the street to get a paper (Stay with me now). The moment when he realized that he had strolled straight into a riot was nail biting. All the little shops and street performers that he had walked past (moments before) were either ablaze or no more.

The shaky camera work was a little disorienting BUT it certainly added to the tension and confusion. I could understand the use of the shaky cam in the frantic chase sequences. BUT was it really needed when Wilson was carrying a boat or talking?

Lake Bell (Man Up) was brilliant as Wilson’s spouse. I’m surprised at how much Brosnan was flogged in the promotion when she played a much bigger part. I couldn’t fault the family unit. They were all perfectly cast. Even the little ‘uns played their parts well. The squabbling and bickering may have been a little frustrating BUT it added a much needed realism. I couldn’t imagine what I would do in a situation like that.

After the recent terror attacks at Mali, this hit a little closer to home. The fear and panic as the family do everything they can to evade capture and survive. The skyscraper sequence was heart in mouth stuff. I flinched and winced as each family member had to jump across from one building to the other.

Things only really hit a snag when Brosnan was involved. I’m sure his character was supposed to lighten what was a frightfully tense thriller BUT it felt like he was in the wrong movie. Luckily, he did grow on me when you find out his hidden agenda (Which predictably there was).

The pace may have dropped in parts, Brosnan’s performance was a mixed bag BUT it was frantic and exhilarating. I felt for Bell and Wilson’s despair as they do everything to try and save their children and keep calm in the face of utter dismay.

My main issue was that after a heart rending and tense race to the border, the finale was quite abrupt. It just ended. A slow burning build up, a nerve wracking middle act and then that’s it. A little disappointing. I mean it allowed for a nice, if dreadfully corny, end note BUT it just didn’t quite finish things off properly for me.

BUT that still didn’t stop what was a big surprise. If you’re in the mood for an adrenaline-induced little thriller, then look no further.

3/5

TERMINATOR: GENISYS REVIEW

The MAD MOVIE RANTER

Terminator-Genisys-Poster

He’s back but should he have bothered? Let judgement day commence (See what I did there) as I tear into the latest offering of the Terminator franchise.

In a nutshell, I enjoyed this a whole lot more than I expected.

So what happens this time? John Connor (Jason Clarke) sends Kyle Reese (Jai Courtney) back in time to protect Sarah Connor (Emilia Clarke), but when he arrives in 1984, nothing is as he expected it to be.

I think it really comes down to how much of a Terminator fan. You are. One thing we can settle on. If you didn’t like the first Terminator, then firstly why are you here? And secondly, don’t bother seeing this one.

The original was (NO! IS!) a sci-fi classic. A iconic and incredibly quotable piece of filmmaking. I didn’t think Cameron could top it. Boy oh how I was wrong. Terminator 2: Judgement…

View original post 1,188 more words

*NEW* KRAMPUS REVIEW *NEW*

krampus-2015-horror-movie-poster

Ho-ho-horrible. Dark, demented, different.

I normally dread the Christmas period. The inevitable corny and schmaltzy monstrosities we call Christmas movies haunting every possible TV channel (Jingle All The Way being the exception. What?). BUT this latest offering brings a different kind of dread altogether!

A boy (Emjay Anthony) who has a bad Christmas ends up accidentally summoning a Christmas demon to his family home.

It’s been a while since we’ve had a good horror and even more so during Christmas. The opening sold me straight away with the Black Friday carnage as the shoppers descend on the morbid mall. Fighting, scrapping, crying. The true meaning of Christmas.

It was great to see a small and underrated cast, containing some of my favourite comedy supporting actors, getting the chance to take the stage; Adam Scott (Step Brothers), David Koechner (Anchorman), Conchata Ferrell (Two and a Half Men) and Alison Tolman (Fargo).

The dysfunctional family was set up perfectly and it wasn’t long before it all kicked off and poor little Max made a wish that he would soon regret. The slow burning build up to Krampus’ inevitable appearance was a little tedious but once he made his introduction with his devilish critters in tow, I was hooked.

The CGI, make up and special effects were fantastic. The demented goat hybrid Krampus and his freakish little followers were something else. This certainly isn’t for the little ‘uns. A mangled teddy bear, a freaky angel of death, a robot with knives for hands, a grotesque jack in the box and a partridge in a . . . Okay, I’ll stop.

This felt like a “What if Gremlins went darker” scenario and boy, did it! It wasn’t afraid to bump people off. The tone was a little uneven. It was either too dark in one sequence, then too silly in another. However, there were still some creepy and hilarious moments. A particular highlight being Koechner’s confrontation with some killer gingerbread men.

The main plaudits have to go to Koechner as shotgun toting, pick up driving red neck Howard with his tomboy daughters in tow. Every one liner and reaction stole the show for me; ” I just had my ass handed to me by christmas cookies”. I just loved the fact he named his pick up truck Lucinda. “Give her a full tank of gas and we can be storming the beaches of Normandy by sunrise”.

It did feel like Krista Sadler’s Austrian grandmother was only brought into the mix to make the folklore element that bit more authentic. Most people in the audience kept wondering why she was speaking German in the first place. Especially when nobody else did.

The folklore was a fresh take and I was pleasantly surprised. Her creepy storytelling did allow for a brilliant animated sequence that teased elements of The Cabinet of Dr Kaligari as she explained the origins of St. Nicholas’ shadow.

At it’s best, it was tense, funny and oh so dark. BUT at it’s worst . . .

The pace had the tendency to dip and out which killed a good portion of the suspense. More could have been made out of the characters. Toni Collette (Little Miss Sunshine) and Tolman were heavily underused in their roles. There was so much potential with their fractured relationship BUT it was never going to be that sort of film. And there definitely wasn’t enough of Ferrell’s drunken aunt.

They even missed out on a trick or two with the scares. Hardly a spoiler BUT I really expected something to happen with the creepy snowmen that surrounded the house. BUT alas . .  .

The ending was rushed and tragically predictable. A shame after things finally seemed to kick off for a frantic finale as Max must help his messed up family. BUT luckily there was still enough to make this a reasonably entertaining and dark little Christmas treat.

3/5

*NEW* VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN REVIEW *NEW*

victor-frankenstein-poster

IT’S A DUD! IT’S A DUD!

Well, that’s what I thought I was going to say.

McAvoy and Radcliffe take on the iconic mad scientist duo to mixed results. BUT with good acting and some decent special effects, it delivered enough fun for me not to care too much.

Told from Igor’s (Daniel Radcliffe) perspective, we see the troubled young assistant’s dark origins, his redemptive friendship with the young medical student Viktor Von Frankenstein (James McAvoy), and become eyewitnesses to the emergence of how Frankenstein became the man (and the legend) we know today.

Look, this sort of movie was never going to win plaudits BUT if it had the right level of ridiculousness and enough monsters then I’d be one happy bunny. The first hour was actually quite entertaining and reworked the origin story quite well.

Apart from needing a good haircut, Radcliffe played the hunchback perfectly. We follow the poor chap as we watch him being beaten and downtrodden by his circus chums. Daniel Mays (The Bank Job) was completely wasted in his role as the lecherous leader Barnaby. Shame. It zipped along and once Frankenstein made the fold, I was pleasantly entertained.

James McAvoy was superb. Producing more saliva than creatures. Seriously, he got a little too passionate with some of the dialogue. BUT as soon as he made his introduction, he stole the show. His mad enthusiasm, the dry witticisms and crazy theorizing was brilliant. He really carried the piece when things seem to drag (Which unfortunately they did).

The special effects and props were disgusting. A scene involving the real reason behind Igor’s “hump” was enough to put anyone off their dinner. The creatures and animal body parts were fantastic. Their first subject; a spliced chimpanzee was devilishly creepy and created a few problems along the way.

There wasn’t as much gore nor as many monsters as I had hoped. The woes of a 12A certificate but the writers certainly pushed the mark where they could. The CGI was generally eye catching. Apart from the scene (Ironically) involving moving eyes which was just terrible.

The bromance between McAvoy and Radcliffe really made the pair shine. I was happy to watch them bicker, banter and squabble as the experiments become more ambitious. BUT of course, they had to throw a spanner in the works. A spanner in the form of Downton Abbey’s Jessica Brown-Findlay.

The dull love subplot between Radcliffe and Brown-Findlay was pretty bland. The pair do their best BUT I wasn’t interested in them and neither was the director it seemed as it was skimmed over very quickly. If anything, it wasn’t needed.

She didn’t really turn Igor against Frankenstein or add any humanity to him. You felt for Igor from the moment you saw him abused by the circus. But then again, it was never going to be that sort of film. BUT it tragically slowed down the pace and I could feel my mind wondering as the lifeless luvvy duvvy stuff played out.

Andrew Scott (Sherlock) delivered a memorable supporting turn as the depressing and macabre Inspector Turpin. A man hell bent on bringing Victor to justice before the world and God. His ramblings did go on a bit BUT his theological sparring with McAvoy spiced things up.

He was definitely more memorable than Freddie Fox’s (The Riot Club) Finnegan. He was too weak and flamboyant to be taken seriously. He certainly personified a spoilt rich kid with more money than sense. BUT a maniacal mastermind? I feared Charles Dance (Game of Thrones) more in his small cameo as Frankenstein’s father.

The slow motion Sherlock Holmes (Downey Jr/Ritchie) style fighting was disorienting and slowed down the action too much. The film lost its momentum after the 60 minute marker BUT finally (and thankfully) found it again at the 90 minute marker for a deliciously dark and violent finale.

If anything, the finale was a little too quick cut and rushed. I’m sure the literary critics will be shaking their heads at this rehashing of a classic BUT it had enough action, creepy creatures and humour to keep things watchable. The effects on the Creature looked so real. He looked like Martin Skrtel on steroids with a few bolts here and there. Any more violent and they could have kissed that 12A rating good bye. Maybe they should have.

Radcliffe and McAvoy were a dream team. The effects were great. They did just enough to wade through the stocky subplots and overlong pace to make it a watchable little creature feature.

3/5 (Just)

*NEW* BURNT REVIEW *NEW*

246390

Overcooked and overdone. Let’s hope Mr Cooper has a thick skin.

Adam Jones (Bradley Cooper) is a chef who destroyed his career with drugs and diva behavior. He cleans up and returns to London, determined to redeem himself by spearheading a top restaurant that can gain three Michelin stars.

Penned by Steven Knight. Normally, I’m a big fan of the chap. Dirty Pretty Things was one of the best British films I had seen in a long time. BUT his latest offerings (Locke and Peaky Blinders) were very disappointing. Locke was an unintentionally comical showcase for Tom Hardy while Peaky Blinders (A fantastic gangster series that I had once called the best damn thing on TV) suffered from a stuttering second season.

Unfortunately (if you hadn’t gathered from that poorly punned tagline) that run has continued. Bradley Cooper does his best Gordon Ramsey impression BUT to no avail.

The first hour was actually quite watchable after a slow opening act with Cooper’s callous chef serving his “penance” by shucking out a million oysters. Yep. It really was as tedious as you think. BUT I was still intrigued to find out what Adam had done to make people detest him so much. Apparently, not a lot.

I would have preferred to see Cooper’s character burn out in the opening half than witness the dull aftermath. Some of the reasons were a little petty and boring while most of the group forgave him far too easily just because of his “reputation”. Best described using a Star Wars reference, “If he gets one more Michelin star, he’ll be like the Darth Vader of cooking”.

Cooper played it well as always. He had enough charisma to carry the piece BUT for every tense scene or engaging moment, there were a dozen cliched ones. Matthew Rhys was perfect as Adam’s old sous-chef (now bitter rival). If anything, I wished he was in it more. Their exchanges and fractious relationship was ripe for more heated confrontations. Unfortunately Knight only really scraped the surface.

And that was the problem. A great cast not used to their full potential. I couldn’t believe the amount of actors that popped up in this film. It was ridiculous. Daniel Bruhl didn’t do a bad turn as Tony. The son of a respected restaurateur trying to keep his late father’s legacy alive. The only problem was that his initial stubbornness and anger was always going to lead to the inevitable.

It was also a surprise to see Uma Thurman as a respected food critic. Shame that her character was only a passing cameo. Alicia Vikander was tragically wasted in her role. She looked stunning and had potential to cause so much more trouble for Adam. BUT it was resolved far too easily and didn’t even attempt to put out the fire burning between Cooper and Miller.

Sienna Miller and Bradley Cooper reunite once again (American Sniper). Their tense headbutting and predictable romance did enough to keep things ticking over. Cooper’s Ramsey-esque meltdown at her was brutal and nail biting. Miller was actually very good as the single mum battling to keep her catering career alive. The hokum romance did spoil things BUT their chemistry was good enough to roll out the doughy bits.

Emma Thompson was brilliant as Adam’s therapist. But heavily underused. Merely dishing out advice and keeping tabs on the recovering drug addict. A shame as the pair worked well together.

The shots of the meals and courses had my stomach rumbling. Food porn for the foodies out there. It was easygoing and pleasant enough with Adam’s tough guy demeanour finally cracking. There were even some zippy one liners; “What happened to your angel looks? Drink, cocaine and Louisiana”.

There just wasn’t enough made of the story or the cast. The second half lulled and sizzled out with a quite abrupt and corny ending. It was far too patchy, formulaic and predictable. That’s not to say it wasn’t watchable. Just disappointing.

2.5/5

*NEW* THE LADY IN THE VAN REVIEW *NEW*

Lady-in-the-Van-poster-2

An exceptional performance from a great Dame does enough to save this mixed bag of a mostly true story.

Alan Bennett (Alex Jennings) forms an unexpected bond with a transient woman (Maggie Smith) living in her car that’s parked in his driveway.

After a strong opening with a small glimpse into the past of our mysterious lady in the van, things were put on the back burner and we were subjected to the endless monologues of Alan Bennett.

And that was the problem. There was too much Bennett. I was aware of the renowned playwright but wasn’t really used to his style. The History Boys, being one of the other film adaptations I’ve seen, wasn’t my cup of tea.

Now credit where it’s due. Jennings was very good as the dithering playwright. Once I got used to Bennett’s running commentary, I was able to enjoy it a little more as the film went on. The ‘caught between two minds’ gag (in which we see two Bennetts) was a clever little skit and helped differentiate what Bennett did in real life and what he imagined. His snappy one liners and some of his monologues were actually quite entertaining as he argued and bickered with the lady in the van and himself.

The introduction of the London Borough of Camden community didn’t really bring much to the mix. If anything, they were heavily underused. Especially with the talent at Bennett’s finger tips. Jim Broadbent played the shady retired cooper in his limited role perfectly. He brought some needed suspense and drama to the mix.

Roger Allam and Deborah Findley were probably the only other characters that made an impression as Bennett’s nosy neighbours. Desperate to fish out any little bit of gossip. Frances de la Tour was completely wasted in her role. Dominic Cooper’s cameo was nothing more than an ongoing gag taking the mick out of Bennett’s promiscuity and sexuality. I couldn’t believe how many British sitcom actors popped up in this. Even James Corden turned up as a market trader.

BUT they were always going to fall short to the lady in the van. The iconic actress that is Maggie Smith. Bearing “a vagabond nobility”, the make up team really made her look rough. Her acid tongue and mad rants were hilarious. The outbursts at the sound of music. The exchanges. The looks. Brilliant.

A monster in one second. Ungrateful and using. Hurt and alone the next. Neglected by the church and left to fend for herself. When we finally got to delve into her past, you soon developed empathy towards the cantankerous old bat.

However, the main issue I had with the piece was that there was too much focus on Bennett. As much as it was a semi-autobiographical account; it would help if his life story was interesting. That’s not to say that it didn’t have its moments. Bennett didn’t exactly paint himself in the best light. His reluctance to look after his mad ol’ Mam (A sterling turn from Gwen Taylor) but acceptance of Smith’s squatter on his driveway drew a shocking, but interesting, comparison.

BUT the drama around Bennett soon dragged what was a charming little affair. The ramblings about his plays and the late night meetings with his “friends” was only really funny when Smith’s lady interrogated him. “All these men coming over at all hours of the night. People will think you’re a Communist”.

When Smith disappeared so did my interest. It’s hard when telling a loosely based true story NOT to exaggerate or guess what Smith’s character would have done or said. However, it didn’t really build up to anything that I expected. Her treatment at the monastery was ripe for more drama and confrontation BUT never amounted to anything. Neither did her back story of why she was in the van in the first place.

It was certainly watchable BUT engaging? The closing moments proved why Smith is still one of the best actresses going. The Oscar buzz might be a little premature but it was still a superb performance. The OTT ending didn’t really fit in with the tone for me. I understood why Bennett did this elaborate overture but I still wasn’t a fan.

Funny, charming, easygoing when Smith was involved. Otherwise, it just wasn’t as fulfilling or as entertaining as I expected.

3/5 (Just!)