The Haunted Mansion (2023) Movie Review

The Haunted Manzzzzion . . . .

Not quite. Not bad. But it could have been oh so much more.

My first review in quite some time and what a film to return with!

So what’s it about? A single mom named Gabbie (Rosario Dawson) hires a tour guide (LaKeith Stanfield), a psychic (Tiffany Haddish), a priest (Owen Wilson) and a historian (Danny DeVito) to help exorcise her newly bought mansion after discovering it is inhabited by ghosts.

Let’s start with the positives. That won’t take long. I’m kidding! Well, sort of.

The cast did the best they could with the material that was given to them. It was a pleasure to see Stanfield (Atlanta/Sorry to Bother You) taking on a leading role and playing it straight.

He delivered a solid performance as the embittered and troubled Ben. A man hell bent on proving that ghosts do not exist. Ironic considering he is supposed to be a tour guide exploring the spookier parts of the New Orleans bayou. Of course, all is revealed in some cheesy but pleasant flashbacks.

You couldn’t have picked a better supporting cast! I just wish Haddish and DeVito were allowed to improvise. They are both talented performers that know how to deliver a laugh (Wilson not excluded). Something that tragically the script did not. They did their best with the material but it all felt a little . . . safe.

Wilson and Stanfield made a better couple than whatever they were trying trying to do with a heavily underused Rosario Dawson. The cheesy surrogate family connection for Stanfield’s Ben and Chase Dillon’s Travis felt a little too forced. However, there was a lot more fun with their dynamic when dealing with the ghosts.

The special effects were generally quite impressive. When the ghouls were finally able to appear, there were some great visual pieces and the use of colour really added to the Gothic vibe and look.

However, I say generally because . . .

Here are the two reincarnations of Madame Leota. Which CGI’d crystal ball is 20 years older?

Jamie Lee Curtis tried her best but she fell short visually and performance wise to Meg Tilly’s portrayal.

As did Jared Leto! I know, Jared Leto?! If it wasn’t for the fact his name flagged up in the credits, I wouldn’t have known it was him. Great make up and visuals but the villain was so one dimensional and bland that it spoiled what could have been so much more. I mean this would have been the best platform for Leto to go a little crazy in make up (House of Gucci fans will know what I’m talking about).

The main issue for me was the tone. It wasn’t as funny as it tried to be nor was it as scary. So a lack of laughs and tension made it merely watchable. Easygoing Sunday viewing, but if anything this made me want to go back to the lambasted Eddie Murphy flick. I think by comparison, it’s an underrated gem.

There was potential with the ghosts but their absence or limited presence really hampered things. I appreciate they were trying to do something different to the 2003 version but different doesn’t always mean better. There was fun to be had in the final third. An entertaining encounter involving communication via a bathroom mirror showed hope but this was a two hour movie. A bit more of that would have gone a long way.

I was also a little puzzled as to why this film was given a 12A rating? I didn’t think there was that much profanity or scream factor to warrant it. If anything, the material could have cranked that Gothic horror up to 11. The potential to tap into something Tim Burtonesque was there but alas it was not to be!

Also, what happened to Dan Levy (Schitt’s Creek)?! I laughed more in his 30 second blink-and-you’ll-miss-it cameo as the murder mystery actor. Was his part cut? He would have been a great addition! Shame.

For all its visual flair and cast at its disposal, HM failed to hit the mark and came across a little like the very habitat. Inviting at first but cold and hollow once you enter (at your peril).

Boo (Sorry 2 – tried a spooky pun)/5