*NEW* HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA 2 REVIEW *NEW*

Drac and the pack are back. BUT better? There’s only one way to find out.

Dracula (Adam Sandler) and his friends try to bring out the monster in his half human, half vampire grandson in order to keep Mavis (Selena Gomez) from leaving the hotel.

Silly fun for the family. This latest offering from Sandler and co does just enough to keep the little ‘uns entertained for 90 minutes. Just don’t see it in 3D.

The 3D was a wasted gimmick (As opposed to any other movie?). I’m happy to recommend a 3D experience if I feel the price is right. Nothing really jumped out at you and it certainly didn’t justify the ticket price.

The ridiculously cheesy opening zipped along and was easygoing enough. The premise was hardly original. Predictable hokum as Drac’s obsessiveness soon gives Mavis doubts about raising Dennis in HT. Luckily that was all breezed over quite quickly for some more crazy shenanigans.

Drac recruits the gang to show off their abilities in one last ditch effort to inspire Dennis to unleash his inner vampire. The better gags definitely came when Sandler’s gang of goons were in play. Each one of them had their moment to shine. David Spade’s Invisible Man pretending to have a girlfriend. Steve Buscemi’s werewolf tennis instructor chasing every tennis ball. And yes! (Or should I say unfortunately) His insufferable horde of crazy cubs make a return.

Kevin James’ Frankenstein feebly attempting to scare people. The only fright being a bad selfie for a fan. Hell! Even Cee-Lo Green delivered with the Mummy’s dreadful sand storm summoning dance. We also had a new addition in the form of the gormless green goop appropriately named Blobby. A cross between Jabba the Hutt and Flubber.

I was surprised how little there was of Andy Samberg BUT then again, we did have his story in the first one. Selena Gomez certainly improved and got into the groove a lot more. I enjoyed her turn as Mavis this time round as the pair explored possible new homes. The gag involving the ‘intermonster’ couples living in Californian suburbia was unexpected BUT cleverly done. Especially when the community mistook one of their own for a monster.

There was enough craziness to keep things watchable. The politically friendly vampire camp sequence worked too well with its “Everyone’s a winner” mantra. It was also great to hear Mel Brooks voicing Drac’s dad Vlad (Unintentional rhyming there). Shame that he wasn’t as funny as I hoped. Rob Riggle stole the spotlight from the prolific comedian as his volatile partner in crime, Bela the gargoyle.

However, it wasn’t all perfect. The schmaltzy lesson learning along the way was a little too much for my cynical critic to take and hampered what had been a frenetic and watchable flick. And the length was far too short. A compliment and a flaw. More could have been made with the material. It felt like a feature length TV episode that rushed to its conclusion.

With the price of cinema tickets and Pixar movies raising the bar on story and substance, this fell short. BUT it still entertained and made for easy viewing. Fans of the original (which I preferred) will not be disappointed. I can think of worse ways to kill 90 minutes.

2.5/5

*THROWBACK REVIEW* MR PEABODY AND SHERMAN

Nothing to bark home about. (What? If you’re tutting at that, then this film is not for you. If you tutted but had a cheeky little grin, then this might be). Enough hi-jinks and 3D animation to keep the children wagging their tails but it’s hardly a rollicking family movie.

It’s not all bad and to be honest, it jumps straight into the action with Mr. Peabody (voiced brilliantly by Ty Burrell or Phil Dunphy from Modern Family BUT less annoying) making a brief introduction about his numerous achievements from birth, after being neglected for being unique (the usual spiel). His greatest challenge, however, was adopting seven year old Sherman.

We join the dynamic duo on a time travelling escapade, basking it up in the 18th Century French Revolution before its inevitable uprising. It zips along, the 3D is actually quite good with the swords and spears pointing out of the screen. The one liners are guilty pleasures, silly but funny pun gags.

One particular guilty chuckle was during a zany escape attempt from the guillotine that is as bonkers as the Sherlock fall. Mr Peabody delivers the punch line, “The best thing to do is be calm and keep your head”.

However, this is all thrown aside as Sherman attends his first day of school. And before you know it, he’s in a fight with a bully. Twist, the bully is a girl named Penny (voiced by Ariel Winters or interestingly Alex Dunphy from Modern Family). This leads to the gruesome child protection services officer Mrs Grunion (Mom’s Allison Janney), who bears some deep resentment towards dogs owning children. She threatens to take Sherman away.

In attempt to prevent the pair being torn apart (Aww. Yuck) Peabody invites Penny and her parents over for dinner. Penny and Sherman inevitably refuse to get along. That is until, against Peabody’s wishes, Sherman introduces her to the Way Back (time machine).

The pod looks exactly like the one from Free Birds. This film may not be great but it’s better than that turkey (What?). However, the jokes are few and far between. And the overall story is the same old guff. The time travel sequences end up visiting all the obvious famous figures, Shakespeare (check), Van Gogh (check), Da Vinci (check) – cue a highly predictable gag about the real reason behind Mona Lisa’s smile.

It seems like the movie ran out of gas by the hour mark and threw the lazy plot device of the time machine’s power being drained so they have to stop at random points of time. In all fairness, the 14th Century Florence skit with Stanley Tucci’s Da Vinci wasn’t too bad and his creepy child machine was very weird but funny. The ruse that Mona Lisa was all for tourist promotion wasn’t bad.

However, there is the usual cheesy father/son/dog/pup spats and brewing, if unnecessary, romance between Penny and Sherman. OTT slapstick and silly gags. However, after the hour, the film does find another gear and revs up to a mad timey wimey finale. The Troy sequence was hilarious with the testerone-pumped dimwits led by Agamemnon, voiced expertly by Patrick Warburton (Joe from Family Guy). The comparisons between their weird family upbringings was a surprise and one for the adults. “Don’t get me started on Oedipus. You do not want to go round there at Thanksgiving”.

The timey wimey stuff made it more interesting once they start breaking up the space time continuum and the past goes back to the present but it all got ridiculous with the inevitable cheesy, corny happy ending. Watchable, brilliant visuals, if predictable guff. Shame considering the talent; I mean come on, Mel Brooks, Dennis Haysbert, Stephen Colbert, Leslie Mann! Enough for the little ones but the bigger kids will be fidgeting . . . towards the exit door.

2.5/5 for me

A MILLION WAYS TO DIE IN THE WEST REVIEW

A Million Ways to Die Laughing! Unfortunately not. MacFarlane takes on the Wild West and comes out more battered and bruised than his heroic counterpart. Applying his Family Guy spiel, this cowboy comedy yields mixed results this time round.

Now for the record I am a big Family Guy fan and thought Ted was a return to form from MacFarlane as Family Guy teetered on lacklustre but watchable.

His second feature to hit the big screen and a western. My hopes were high. The trailers signed me up from the get go. Job done as always. However, it seems a case of ‘best bits in the trailers’ syndrome. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not all bad but it’s not all great either.

The main issue, two hours? Too long. It was only after the first 30-45 minutes that the film got into its stride. The story line is hardly original, merely a rehash of a classical western storyline. Probably one of the reasons why westerns are no longer plaguing our screens.

Local coward finds bravery and confronts nastiest gunslinger to win the town and the girl. Yadda, yadda. I really hoped for a demented Blazing Saddles but only got mildly hot flip flops. The lovely Charlize Theron and McFarlane were fantastic together. Good chemistry. You could see where they were improvising which made the banter all the more entertaining.

However, the main jokes and punch lines are few and far between. The bigger, better gags have been heavily advertised to get you to watch this mildly entertaining affair.

Seth MacFarlane’s rants felt, at times, like nothing more than him trying to do improvised stand up. Some parts fall flat on its backside, other bits bring the odd laugh. His speech on the law and order of the town was very good; “There is the mayor. He is dead”.

MacFarlane manages to carry enough charisma to keep his stocky character going. The funniest moments in the film for me were the unexpected blink and you’ll miss it cameos, containing the likes of Ewan McGregor, Ryan Reynolds and . . . my God, two brilliant cameos that were nearly worth the ticket. I won’t say for once.

Cameos you would have expected from MacFarlane but still manage to surprise and get a laugh.

Considering the number of musical montages in Family Guy, there is only one song and dance number. An irritatingly catchy one, at that. A missed opportunity in my opinion. I kept expecting Mr Conway Twitty to appear. Alas to no avail. Of course not literally as the poor man passed away some time ago.

I admit I did have to check Google on that. My bad.

In all fairness, the supporting characters bring the better jokes but they are barely in it. You feel that they are brought in to help the slackening pace or when MacFarlane and Theron have stopped messing around.

Neil Patrick Harris (How I Met Your Mother) was very funny as the mustached lothario Foy with his ridiculously cringeworthy but hilarious pun based insults.

It was great to see Liam Neeson as the villain. Unfortunately he plays it very dead pan. So serious, in fact that his character is just a stocky and highly unmemorable clichéd cowboy killer. I expected at least a Taken parody or something. Nope. At least he didn’t try and do an American drawl again after Seraphim Falls.

The same could be said for Amanda Seyfried who was nothing more than a bland caricature used as a plot device to spur our protagonist. Shame. A joke about her eyes brought an unexpected titter.

Sarah Silverman and Giovani Ribisi were hilarious together. However, they are only resorted to a drawn out gag about having a prostitute as a girlfriend and not sleeping together before marriage as it is not very Christian. The gag gets a little stale but the characters were funny enough to warrant more screen time than they got.  Inevitably, there would be a meeting with the Indians, I mean, Native Americans and a certain taking of various substances, leading to a trippy and surreal sequence that reeked of desperation, more than creativity.

Inevitably it all ends very . . . predictably which leaves you somewhat disappointed (if it hadn’t already).

It’s watchable at best. But I have later series of Family Guy for that. It kills the time, brings the odd laugh but hardly must see viewing. If you are looking for a laugh out loud rowdy riot of a western in the style of Mel Brooks’ Blazing Saddles, then I recommend . . . Blazing Saddles 2.5/5 for me.

Currently ranks #130 out of 179!