*NEW* KINGSMAN: THE GOLDEN CIRCLE REVIEW *NEW*

Manners maketh the ridiculous sequel

When their headquarters are destroyed and the world is held hostage, the Kingsmen’s journey leads them to the discovery of an allied spy organization in the US. These two elite secret organizations must band together to defeat a common enemy.

Stupid, bonkers, OTT and yet . . . Still highly entertaining.

The Kingsman are back BUT better? Well . . .

It would help to watch the first one. BUT if you haven’t, it’s not the end of the world (Although YOU MUST! It’s rather bloody good) as quick plot points are skimmed over anyway.

I mean, my mind drew a blank in the opening sequence as Charlie (Who? Thankfully there was a quick flashback) ambushed Eggsy (Taron Egerton) in a mental cab chase punch up.

I was a little anxious with the frenetic opening. It was too chaotic and, dare I say, silly for my liking. The frantic camera work, the over-indulgent CGI, I feared the worst. The soundtrack was on point though as Eggsy and Charlie punched the living daylights out of each other to Prince. Nice.

BUT once the pace settled down and the humour kicked in, I was still happy to be caught up in this crazy mess.

Egerton ran the show yet again and carried the film (when it tragically dragged).

Julianne Moore had a tough act to follow after Ssssssamuel (One for the Kingsman fans) L Jackson’s stellar turn in Secret Service BUT she played the psycho Poppy really well. If anything, I was disappointed at how small her screen time was.

Beneath the smiley Desperate Housewives persona lied one twisted individual. Don’t eat a burger from her. That’s all I’m saying.

I liked the idea of the Statesmen. The Kingsman’s American cousin. All the satire ripe for the picking. BUT after a fun introduction and some punny wordplay on their operative names; Tatum, Berry and Bridges were all left watching from the side lines. By the end, I wondered why they even bothered. Shame.

Thank God for Pedro Pascal’s (Game of Thrones/Narcos) laser lasso throwing cowboy Whiskey.

Colin Firth was a welcome return. Even with his ridiculous (but surprisingly plausible in a “Kingsman” way) revival. A much needed presence. The camaraderie with Eggsy was the heart of the first movie.

His presence made up for some of the messier parts of the movie. The only problem was that once Harry was back, Merlin was designated to Q status. A shame as up until that point; Mark Strong (The Brothers Grimsby) had been on scene stealing form. Benched (with the majority of the Statesmen) right up until the explosive finale.

My main quibble with The Golden Circle was that where the original got away with poking fun at James Bond (and the spy genre in general); this really did take things up to 11. A bit like Kick Ass 2. Funny, messed up BUT pushing its luck.

The middle act dragged and a reconnaissance mission at Glastonbury took the biscuit for me as Eggsy “planted” a bug into a model’s (Poppy Delevigne – Yup Cara’s sis) orifice (Nope, you read that right).

Now don’t get me wrong, the original wasn’t perfect. And to say, this sequel was silly by comparison is . . . silly in itself.

Especially when you had Sofia Boutella’s lethal Pistorius blade combination, Jackson’s blood phobia and THAT church scene . . . (My God! Pardon the irony) I will never listen to Lynyrd Skynyrd  in the same way again!

I just wasn’t caught up in it as much this time around.

Bruce Greenwood’s cameo as the President of the United States was mental. He reminded me of a similar world leader (with no concept of empathy or thought. Make of that what you will). His unique hostage negotiating skills spoke volumes.

BUT the real scene stealer was Sir Elton John. The Rocketman was bloody hilarious. He really didn’t give a damn, wasn’t afraid to poke fun at himself and was surprisingly agile for an ailing musician 😉

Despite the relentless CGI, the malingering pace and some mad plot holes, K: GC was still crazy fun with some entertaining and delightfully bloody and visceral action sequences.

A fun time filler if nothing else that won’t disappoint Kingsman fans too much.

3/5

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*NEW* SING REVIEW *NEW*

Easy going toe-tapping fun.

In a city of humanoid animals, a crafty koala’s (Matthew McConaughey) attempt to save his theatre with a singing competition becomes grander than he anticipates even as its finalists’ find that their lives will never be the same.

I don’t know why the family put this on (considering our youngest is now 23) but I’m glad they did. A much needed tonic after all the hard hitting super serious Oscar flicks.

The cast were fantastic. I actually didn’t believe that all of them sang. I skimmed through the credits to double check (and for the awesome soundtrack listings).

Of course, a killer soundtrack is crucial in a singing competition and Joby Talbot selected some great choices. I did NOT expect to hear a chimp singing Elton John’s I’m Still Standing.

Or open the show with Kanye West’s Flashing Lights. Seriously, I wanted to revisit the albums on my iPod right there and then BUT I digress.

Matthew McConaughey nailed it as the bumbling Buster Moon. Desperate to save the theatre that his father bought him and spurned his love for the arts. Swindling and squeezing every penny he could.

Until that wonderful light bulb moment. A singing competition. With a cash prize. However, one silly typo from his scatty secretary Judith and that strapped for cash prize changed from $1,000 to $100,000!

Cue one mad little movie.

It was silly BUT entertaining fun that left me smiling. Funny, charming and one for the whole family.

You could argue that all the characters were loosely strung together around the American Idol style competition. BUT you could relate to them all in one way or the other.

Reese Witherspoon was brilliant as Rosita, the frustrated pig housewife desperate to break free from her hum drum routine. I knew she could belt out the tracks. Let’s not forget she won an Oscar for Walk The Line.

Any excuse for Seth MacFarlane to belt out the Sinatra tracks and he’s there. Always slipping a croon-sesh into Family Guy whenever he can. He marvelled as Mike the mouse. The mini street hustler out to earn a quick buck.

My future wife (I hear she’s divorced now) Scarlett Johansson nailed it as Ash, the punky porcupine desperate to sing her own songs instead of the generic tripe that everyone keeps forcing her to play or her moronic boyfriend’s metallic nonsense.

Her reaction when Buster suggested she sang Carly Rae Jepsen was great!

I couldn’t believe Eddie the Eagle could sing. Taron Egerton continues to surprise. He was brilliant as Johnny. The kid chimp desperate to break away from the life of crime to become a singer.

Peter Serafinowicz (Shaun of the Dead) was on top form as Johnny’s mobster monkey dad (appropriately titled) Big Daddy. Completely oblivious to his son’s desires and determined for one last score.

I wasn’t familiar with Tori Kelly. Only that she had a duet with Michael Buble once. BUT she had one hell of a voice and played the part of Meena, the stage shy elephant perfectly.

I know, an elephant with stage fright. The mind boggles.

The animation was excellent and there were genuine moments where I laughed out loud. All I’ll say is car wash. That and a nervous buffalo with flatulence.

The supporting cast were on fine form featuring the likes of Jennifer Hudson, Jennifer Saunders, John C. Reilly, Nick Offerman, Leslie Jones and Rhea Perlman. The list goes on.

It’s corny, cheesy BUT easygoing. A lot better than the disappointingly droll Trolls.

It did the job and killed the time.

3/5

*NEW* EDDIE THE EAGLE REVIEW *NEW*

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Easy going feel good fun.

The story of Eddie Edwards (Taron Egerton), the notoriously tenacious British underdog ski jumper who charmed the world at the 1988 Winter Olympics.

“Eddie, you are NOT an athlete!”

I should have seen this coming from the producers of Kingsman: The Secret Service.

The silly opening got things going with a resilient young Eddie determined to achieve his dreams of reaching the Olympics. You had to admire the little lad for trying to do every known sport to man and failing terribly. Tumbling over obstacles, smacking himself in the face with shot puts, launching javelins through his dad’s window.

I was a little worried (at first) that Taron Egerton’s impression would make Eddie the Eagle look a bit simple. Especially with all the face pulling. BUT it wasn’t long before the bumbling oaf soon won me over. Another impressive turn from the Kingsman star. Definitely one to watch for the future.

I loved the 70/80s soundtrack. Belting some absolute tunes. BUT I didn’t love it as much as the supporting cast attached to this!

“And where do you think you’re going? I’m off to the Olympics Mum!”

Jo Hartley (This is England) was brilliant as Eddie’s mum. Forever supporting the poor lad and giving him belief when everybody else told him to give up (Including his dad!). Keith Allen was hilarious as Eddie’s exasperated father. Tired of watching him fluff up and not taking to the family trade of plastering.

Tim McInnerny (Blackadder) played the dastardly Dustin Target with aplomb. The snobby head official of the British Winter Olympics Commission who went out of his way to stop Eddie entering. Raising the bar that much higher every time he achieved the impossible.

The panning and landscape shots of the ski slopes gave me vertigo watching! Things did get a little repetitive as we watched Eddie crash and burn again and again. There was only so many times I could wince at Egerton’s CGI’d body fumbling and bumbling down the hill.

BUT you were still rooting for the clutz as he faced constant criticism. He was snubbed and ridiculed by the competing Norwegian Winter Olympic team. Even the prolific Finnish winter skier Matti Nykanen refused to give the Eagle an autograph.

However, once Hugh Jackman’s drunken and disgruntled former Olympian Bronson Peary came into the fold, I was sold. Egerton and Jackman were a fantastic duo. They worked really well together.

Jackman was a nutter. His OTT cheesy ski jump introduction did take the biscuit. BUT his crazy motivational speeches had me in stitches. I won’t think of Bo Derek in the same way. That’s all I’m saying.

The middle act did drag in parts as we had to wait for the reluctant drunk to fight Edwards’ bumbling charm and offer his services. Even if we’ve seen the underdog spiel time and time again (With the endless training montages), I still enjoyed watching this dysfunctional duo try and do the impossible.

I could feel myself getting engaged into the story as he overcame every obstacle that was thrown at him. I didn’t realise some of the facts and records that Eddie actually broke. The first British ski jumper since 1929?! He broke records just by qualifying! Unbelievable. I felt a little bad after only really remembering him as a novelty act and a bit of joke.

It probably didn’t help that I saw him recently in that horrific Olympic show Splash! on ITV just before watching this film. Writers Sean Macaulay and Simon Kelton did bring that up as tempers flared between Peary and Edwards with that ever-increasing bar raising that much higher.

BUT the Eagle really didn’t care because he set out to achieve what he wanted. To become an Olympian. He came last in everything and yet kept breaking records for Britain. Mental!

The finale was cheesy BUT heartwarming and uplifting. The story may have been exaggerated BUT despite all its silly moments, this fun little biopic delivered one of the best messages going: “Don’t give up. If you have believe and determination, anything is possible and don’t sell yourself short”.

It wasn’t without its imperfections. The pace meandered along and Christopher Walken was wasted in his minute cameo BUT this was a real feelgood film and with a brilliant cast and some good humour, I think this one is worth your time.

3.5/5

*NEW* KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE REVIEW *NEW*

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From the people who brought you Kickass. You should know what to expect. A riotous action flick of ridiculous proportions. More please.

A spy organization recruits an unrefined but promising street kid (Taron Egerton) into the agency’s ultra-competitive training program, just as a global threat emerges from a twisted tech genius (Samuel L Jackson).

Kingsman hooked me from the get go with an explosive opener as we watch a Middle Eastern compound detonate to the beat of Dire Straits’ Money for Nothing.

Taron Egerton will certainly be one to watch for the future. He delivered an impressive movie debut as the anti-social Eggsy. This is certainly one of the better films I’ve seen this year. Fun, frantic and relentless.

I always felt Colin Firth could have been a Bond. Now he’s get his chance. Sort of. He was superb. Didn’t do too bad in the fighting sequences either. Who said old dogs couldn’t learn new tricks? He was every bit as charming, charismatic and funny as the 007 counterpart. He worked well with Egerton and made the perfect mentor.

We follow the conniving chav as he endures the intensive but enthralling Kingsman program. The ‘test’ sequences were tense, action packed and flippin’ fun as Eggsy must fight tooth and nail against the more ‘acceptable’ candidates. The class wars in full flow and brilliantly personified in the ultra snobby spies.

For the first hour, it ticked all the boxes from the cracking soundtrack, the manic car chases to the adorable little pug JB.

You couldn’t pick a better villain. Sssssamuel L (The L stands for Motherf**ker) Jackson was brilliant as the maniacal music mogul hell bent on dealing with the Earth’s overpopulation. Even if he is afraid of the sight of blood.

He was the ultimate scene stealer (Isn’t he always?). You couldn’t help but smile at the speech impediment ridden sociopath. His tet-a-tet with Firth was worth watching alone.

A brilliant mockery of every confrontation that Bond ever had with a villain as the pair wined and dined on a McDonalds Happy Meal. You read that right. “Is this the part where I tell you my plan and you escape in a cool way with some gadget?”

I was impressed with the supporting cast. The alluring Sofia Boutella (Street Dance 2) was a perfect henchwoman as the amputee assassin Gazelle. Disposing of any threat with some killer moves.

It took me a while to realize that one of the red herrings was played by Luke Skywalker himself. Mark Hamill was almost unrecognizable with his trampy beard and posh Swede accent. Great to see him in something other than Star Wars.

Michael Caine nailed it yet again. BUT I was surprised at how little there was of him. However, I was happy to see more of the talented Mark Strong. Finally earning a bigger part as Eggsy’s trainer Merlin.

The plot was mental. If anything, it reminded me of a even more messed up take on the hit Channel Four TV series Utopia. The satire behind the influence of media and technology was spot on. The running gag of missing celebrities that refused to comply to Jackson’s demands was hilarious.

HOWEVER, as much as the cast and one liners were on fine form; Kingsman wasn’t perfect. The pace did dip in parts. Especially during the middle act. Some of the ‘revelations’ were far too predictable. That’s not to say that the writers weren’t afraid to take risks.

BUT even when the pace dragged, we were soon rewarded with another chaotic punch em up. The church sequence should offer enough carnage to cure anyone’s blood lust. Trust me.

BUT as the film drew to its ridiculous close, it soon became too much for me. It was too fast, too frantic and that delicate balance of silliness was soon tipped right over.

Despite its flaws, I came out smiling. It was manic, funny and highly watchable. If you loved Kickass, I’m sure you’ll love this.

BUT if you love Bond, I think it will be down to what sort of mood you’re in to see it ripped to pieces.

3.5/5