BIG GAME REVIEW

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BIG, DUMB, LAME?

There’s only one way to find out.

The trailer looked ridiculous. I really had low expectations. BUT yet I came out after those mental 90 minutes with a guilty smile. And all I can say is this film is BIG FUN!

Samuel L (The L stands for Mother F**ker) Jackson takes on the iconic presidential role (About time!) in this 12A hampered action packed tour de force.

So what’s it about? A young teenager (Onni Tommila) camping in the woods helps rescue the President of the United States (Samuel L Jackson) when Air Force One is shot down near his campsite.

If you looked at that premise and shook your head, then this really isn’t for you. It’s silly, OTT but hilarious. For the right reasons? Well, that will be up to you.

Brought to you by the people that made Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale. Now that should give you a picture of what to expect. Ridiculous concepts played straight. A dangerous game but it almost worked.

The opening was a little slow burning. All the ridiculousness bubbling in the background. We are introduced to Tommila’s Oskari as he set on a big game hunt by his father. An ancient tradition among the local village that a young boy must take to achieve the path of manhood. Blah, blah, blah.

Tommila’s deadpan expression and dry delivery really made the film for me. I normally find when teenagers are the lead characters in movies like these; they instantly grate against me. Not this time.

Tommila and SLJ were a great pairing. An unexpected one but a good one, none the same. SLJ has proven before that he can make silly premises watchable. Snakes on a Plane was relentless BUT a typical grade A B movie flick (A B? You know what I mean).

Their introduction was hilarious. The plane crash being mistaken for an alien spaceship by the young hunter was corny but the exchange between the pair was worth it. You could tell SLJ was having a laugh especially when Oskari throws POTUS two cups on a string. “Don’t hang up. Did I really just say that?”

The whole terrorist ploy to kidnap the President in a Finnish forest was hammy. All the elaborate and destructive planning just to take some pictures of POTUS and then kill him anyway? Don’t think into it too much.

Luckily, Mehmet Kurtulus’ (Equilibrium) Hazar is so demented and OTT that he takes the attention away from that little niggle. He’s that reckless that you could almost believe his stupid intentions. His missile testing game may have been a rip off of The Jackal but it was quite dark for a 12A using villagers as target practice.

Director Jalmari Helander has an impressive Hollywood cast at his disposal. It was a shame that not all of them were used to their potential. I mean, the presidential back staff that sat watching the chaos in a secure communications room consisted of the likes of Felicity Huffman (Desperate Housewives), Ted Levine (Silence of the Lambs), Victor Garber (Alias) and Jim Broadbent (Harry Potter)!

All of them playing generic stock characters that were highly unmemorable. Well, Broadbent was the exception. He didn’t do a half bad American accent and I really wished his character had more screen time.

Ray Stevenson was actually quite good as the disloyal bodyguard. He has finally mastered the accent after so many poor renditions. *Cough* The Punisher: War Zone *Cough*

For all it’s silliness, it was strange seeing SLJ playing the role quite seriously. Normally in these stupid action movies or iconic classics i.e. Air Force One, the president instantly becomes a badass and disposes all of the baddies while his highly trained security detail are removed in the first act.

SLJ’s presidential character was quite weak. Flailing around and being knocked about. A little more realistic. If you can say that. It made a change. The badass attitude very much on the shoulders of Oskari.

His stand off with Stevenson’s bodyguard was comical. “Don’t worry, Mr. President. I got this”. Pinging a tiny arrow four inches into the ground.

Considering it was a 12A, it was highly violent and very dark. A scene in which SLJ looks up to see a trail of bodyguards sprinkled across the slope was a little graphic BUT the last 30 minutes was mental. More of what I expected from the get go.

OTT, fast, furious and oh so stupid! The freezer sequence had so many mixed emotions for me. Rolling down a ravine. Flying off a cliff. Dodging bullets. Words escape me.

It zipped along. Ended incredibly violently and oh so cornily. BUT I came out with a grin.

Did Jackson get to say his infamous punchline? I hear you ask. “You got to cock it, motherf-” Alas, the dreaded 12A certificate rearing its ugly head.

If you’re up for a laugh and a corny B movie actioner, then look no further. If you’re not, then keep on looking.

3/5

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LUCY REVIEW

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I love Lucy? Well I love ScarJo. But this movie? Not so much. A contender for blockbuster of the year. Luc Besson at his most ambitious. ScarJo at the helm. Hopes were high. But alas, it was not to be.

Now the film is about a woman named Lucy (You don’t say) who gets roped into the illegal drug trade. Abducted and forced to be a drug mule, one of the bag bursts unleashing chemicals that unlock the full capacity of her mind. Woah. Turning her into a mind controlling mercenary.

It sounds ridiculous but good, right? Let’s be honest. I was ready to accept a ridiculous premise if the action was good and the characters were entertaining enough but apart from a great opening, this film seemed to run out of ideas drastically, throwing all sorts of stupendous CGI in the hope of distracting us from it. The madness soon cranks up to 11 but ends so abruptly and bizarre, I was left scratching my head. I haven’t felt like that since I watched The Matrix Revolutions. Besson tried to be clever and philosophical but it came off pretentious and lazy.

A pacey opening sequence in which our alluring heroine is thrown into the criminal underworld had me gripped. It was suspenseful, gritty and intriguing. That and a collection of strange characters; Pilou Asbaek’s (Borgen/Eurovision 2014 host) dim-witted dispatcher, Min-sik Choi’s creepy Yakuza boss and Julian Rhind-Tutt’s (Green Wing) ultra-camp scientist appropriately titled The Limey had enough to keep me humoured. The concept is pretty much Limitless 2 with boobs (Ha. Boobs. Stop it). However, Besson tried to take it to another level. Another level that for me didn’t work and made me just want to watch Limitless again.

The initial transition when Lucy starts unlocking another section of her mind’s capacity is actually pretty good. Some fast action punch ups and shoot-em ups kept the film on its toes. However, as Lucy continues to reach her full potential, the movie hits a major lull as we drawn into scientific mumbo jumbo and random animation sequences as they speculate hypothetical “What If?” scenarios. It only highlighted the ridiculousness of it all. Not even Morgan Freeman’s eloquent tones could make that any more interesting. The only interesting fact that came out of it was that the first cave woman was called Lucy.

Limitless didn’t really try and pin point what could happen. While Lucy, the scenario is that our heroine will control mind over matter and even become matter herself. Wait . . . what? Controlling computers, people and emptying bullets out of police officer’s guns, cool. But ScarJo soon becomes more robotic, which I suppose is understandable as she is becoming something much more than human but her acting comes off a little wooden. And the more Morgan Freeman appears in this, the more I realise how pointless his character actually is. He even admits that this is far beyond his research and hasn’t got a clue. He is left standing on the sidelines shrugging his shoulders and collecting his paycheck.

The car chase sequence around Paris was brilliant. That is until our good friend CGI rears its ugly head and ruins what was a decent action set piece. Computer animated cars flying left right and centre just looked naff. However, the finale soon shot down any momentum and enjoyment that I had during the first 30 minutes. Lucy’s mind soon reaches the capacity *POSSIBLE SPOILER* and she soon turns into something that is a mish mesh between Superman, Neo and her alien hybrid from Under the Skin (I couldn’t stand that movie). Seriously, the finale was so frantic, ridiculous and bizarre that by the time I got past all the flashing images, it had ended and I was left baffled, confused and disappointed.

I say confused. I know what Besson was trying to say with his pretentious message but that was not what I expected from the trailers nor what I wanted this film to be. This is where it will make all the difference on how you perceive this movie. For me, a great opening was soon forced into a lull that sky rocketed into all out action finale (At last!) but was soon let down by a plot that had no idea where it wanted to go and unleashed an ending that would relieve the Wachowski Brothers after the Matrix trilogy.

Watchable. Yeah. Blockbuster of the year? Certainly not. Guardians of the Galaxy still takes that honour at the moment. 2.5/5 for me. Sorry Besson, go watch Leon and get back to basics. I do miss it.