*NEW* SAUSAGE PARTY REVIEW *NEW*

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One of the most outrageous, ridiculous, stupid BUT funniest films I’ve seen this year.

A sausage (Seth Rogen) strives to discover the truth about his existence.

If you’re a fan of Rogen’s crass drug induced humour and want to see him take on Toy Story BUT with talking food, then this is right up your street. Anybody else, serious movies are on Aisle 3.

The opening lulled you into a false sense of security as all the various supermarket food products burst into song praising the Gods (Us) for choosing and taking them to the “Great Beyond”. BUT as the lullaby progressed, I had to do a double take to make sure I heard that right.

And before I knew it, the song turned into something from South Park with a Sauerkraut in the guise of Adolf Hitler plotting the extermination of the J(ew) uice. And we hadn’t even got to the noodles yet.

It really was ridiculous BUT fun. We had the blossoming romance between Frank’s (Rogen) sausage and Brenda’s (Kristen Wiig – Ghostbusters) sexy bun as they prepared to go to the Great Beyond and finally get together. Crude innuendos aside.

However, things don’t go to plan as the pair fall out of their trolley cart. Leading to one messed up little cartoon.

The trolley crash looked like something out of a battlefield. You had a banana’s face hanging off. Peanut Butter scooping up his wife Jelly’s squishy remains. So stupid BUT it got me! With a handful of food goods, Frank and co. travel across the supermarket to discover the horrible truth.

The pair fearing they had upset the Gods by breaking out of their packages and “touching tips” (Relax. Touching hands. Yeah, they have hands).

Along their way, they meet Lavarche (David Krumholtz – Numbers) and Sammy (voiced by none other than Edward ‘Fight Club’ Norton). A perfect encapsulation of the Israeli/Palestinian crisis. The commentary and jibes were pleasantly tongue in cheek “You come into our aisle and take our shelves” and “There are 72 extra virgin oils waiting for me on the other side”.

The supporting characters were fantastic. Bill Hader (Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs) was hilarious as Chief Firewater. The ancient whiskey that knows all. Salma Hayek delivered her sultry tones to a lesbian taco and Craig Robinson as the ‘un-perishable’ Mr Grits (They call me Mr Grits!). My God!

It took me a while to recognise the voice of Barry the deformed sausage. Michael Cera – where has he been? The scared little sausage who faces the great Beyond. A mad little subplot that I’m surprised I didn’t pick at more. I mean, come on. There was a drug dealer, tweaking on bath salts, who was able to talk to them.

The endless movie references. The unbelievable gore. Even though it was food literally getting prepared. A potato being skinned alive. Carrots being diced and sliced. Brilliant.

Nick Kroll did a decent job of voicing a Douche. No, really. As well as dealing with accepting that all his friends were being cut up, fried and boiled for his Gods’ sustenance, Frank has to fend off a vengeance seeking douche bag who he knocked out of the cart. Killing juice boxes, tequila bottles and ‘roiding’ up to accomplish this vendetta.

The only problem was that his character became increasingly less funny as he kept popping up. His running gag with random fruit appearing at the end of his punch lines was fun BUT it got worse: “How do you like them apples?” Cue a bag of apples turning round smiling. “No, not you!”

If none of this is winning you over (and no, I’m not making any of it up!), then this is definitely not for you.

All the sly digs at Disney were there with all the food smoking herbs, getting smashed and screaming profanities for 90 minutes. There was even a car bumper sticker with ‘DIXAR’ spread across it.

The finale was utterly outrageous. Words cannot describe what I watched. It was f*ked up. It’s not as if Rogen and co haven’t gone for the shock factor before. I mean, This is the End cut it pretty close. BUT I was still surprised of what lied in store.

Mental, stupid, it’s the closest you’ll get to a stoned Rogen giving a Pixar style movie the VIP treatment.

3/5

*NEW* GHOSTBUSTERS 3D REVIEW *NEW*

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Who you gonna call? Someone else.

Well that was what I thought I was going to say.

Following a ghost invasion of Manhattan, paranormal enthusiasts Erin Gilbert (Kristen Wiig) and Abby Yates (Melissa McCarthy), nuclear engineer Jillian Holtzmann (Kate McKinnon), and subway worker Patty Tolan (Leslie Jones) band together to stop the otherworldly threat.

When I heard that Paul Feig was taken on the iconic spookfest, I had mixed feelings. Female ghostbusters left me unconvinced. NOT because of the women in question or the fact that the movie was being rebooted with women. I just wasn’t sure that Feig’s style would suit.

The original Ghostbusters delivered surreal humour that was almost deadpan. Despite watching our heroes fight a 50 foot marshmallow man. Wiig and McCarthy have always been in your face and OTT. Funny BUT different. Not always a bad thing BUT was it Ghostbusters?

I loved The Heat and Spy. Hell, I even enjoyed Bridesmaids after being badgered to watch it numerous times. All high grossing comedies of the last decade. BUT with a 12A rating and a stab at taking on a classic; without the shouty OTT and crude humour, could the film deliver?

In a nutshell, meh. The creepy opening was certainly promising. It may not give the little ‘uns nightmares like the New York librarian. Shussshh – BUT it was still pretty freaky. The visual effects were quite good and I could finally say for once that the 3D was worth checking out.

It was silly fun having the plasma rays shoot out of the screen and the ghosts screaming and flying at you. BUT great effects does not a good movie make.

Kristen Wiig was an engaging lead and played the uptight physics professor Erin well. BUT we had to listen to some humdrum spiel about her tenure and an old spat with McCarthy’s Abby before the gang united.

McCarthy channelled her inner Ackroyd and played a much more subdued role. A change BUT one that didn’t quite deliver on the laughs as much as I hoped. The rapport between her and Wiig was hit and miss. Funny in one exchange, drawn out the next.

I couldn’t believe the Twitter bashing Leslie Jones got. She was hilarious and probably the most memorable out of the gang for me; “That’s a room full of nightmares . . . Yep, I ain’t going in there”. McKinnon didn’t a bad job as the eccentric Jillian BUT she got on my nerves by the frantic finale.

Chris Hemsworth (Thor) stole the show as the dim-witted no glass glasses wearing receptionist. He came out with some random one liners and played an absolute pillock. It was even funny watching him evade Wiig’s advances.

BUT for every good scene or joke, there were a dozen duds. *POTENTIAL SPOILER* It was great having the old faces thrown into the mix. It was just a shame that Bill Murray and Dan Ackroyd had terrible and highly unfunny cameos.

BUT it was nice to see Hudson, Potts, Weaver and Slimer. Even if the green blob annoyed the hell out of me in the several minutes he featured. There was a nice nod to the late Harold Ramis.

The supporting cast were wasted. Andy Garcia (Oh how the mighty have fallen) was terrible as the Mayor. He may have had fun playing the role BUT I didn’t watching him.

Michael Kenneth (Omar from The Wire) Williams and Charles (Game of Thrones) Dance had such generic roles. Anyone could have played them. Cecily Strong was probably the only other supporting character that didn’t get on my nerves as the bitchy two faced Mayor’s aid.

Neil Casey (Saturday Night Live) was a terrible villain. The bullied polter-nerd was too weak and the silly plot about vortexes and bringing apocalypse to NYC just felt like a retread of the original with even sillier and weaker results. It irritated me even more knowing that Twyin Lannister was playing a school dean.

The plot was dull and the predictability of it all killed a good bit of the energy and when the flat lines didn’t deliver, the film went through the motions. Let’s be honest Ghostbusters 2 was no prized trophy. I mean, come on. We had a toaster dancing to Jackie Wilson and the Statue of Liberty . . . Yikes!

BUT it was always going to be a tough act to follow the original. The main cast were good and had a great dynamic. I just wish they had a better script. The pace may have dragged BUT for all my nitpicking, I had a lot more fun than I expected. I wasn’t bored and there were laughs to be had.

The frantic finale may have delivered a special effects shoot em up with the gang busting out some cool gadgets BUT it felt rushed and abrupt after all the build up. Shame.

All in all, a mixed bag. Take it for what it is. Great effects, silly gags, a talented gang did enough to keep things watchable. BUT if there is going to be another, I just hope they can get a better script and we’ll be in for a real treat.

2.5/5

*NEW* THE MARTIAN REVIEW *NEW*

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BRING HIM AN OSCAR.

During a manned mission to Mars, Astronaut Mark Watney (Matt Damon) is presumed dead after a fierce storm and left behind by his crew. BUT Watney has survived and finds himself stranded and alone on the hostile planet. With only meagre supplies, he must draw upon his ingenuity, wit and spirit to subsist and find a way to signal to Earth that he is alive.

A return to form from Scott and a stellar performance from Matt Damon makes this space flick one to watch.

For me, Scott’s films of late have not been up to much. They were certainly big, bold and beautifully shot pieces of work. BUT they were either ridiculously over complicated messes (The Counselor) or drawn out affairs (Prometheus).

Luckily, this latest offering had the perfect balance. Dariusz Wolski’s cinematography was fantastic. I didn’t think anyone could make a barren desert planet look so beautiful and deadly with the change of a lens. Superb.

The opening didn’t mess about. It set everybody up and got straight to it. It was tense, frantic and gripping as Watney is left for dead after getting caught up in a violent storm.

I know what you’re thinking. Matt Damon playing a stranded astronaut trying to sustain food and water on a barren planet. NO, it’s not the side story to Interstellar. If anything, it was Cast Away in Space. All that was missing was a volleyball named Wilson.

When telling the story of one man’s survival, it’s crucial that you have the right actor or the movie is ruined. I couldn’t think of anyone better than Matt Damon. He was charismatic and carried the film when it seemed to lull. Every time we went back to NASA, I wanted to see more of Watney.

It was interesting and engaging. I was hooked as we watched Watney battle to survive the next FOUR years from monotonous disco music . . . As well as his tempestuous planetary prison. His video logs were a good touch. Breaking the fourth wall as he explained what he was doing to stay alive. As well as keeping his sanity.

The science behind the crop planting and the water was very clever. You could almost believe that it could happen and be dealt with.

The only problem was that despite Damon’s excellent performance, some of the supporting characters fell into the background and didn’t really make a mark. Most notably in Watney’s crew with Kate Mara and Sebastian Stan.

Jessica Chastain nailed every screen opportunity she got. If anything I wanted to see more of her. BUT this wasn’t her story. Michael Pena did his best to offer comic relief and managed to make a memorable impression by the closing minutes.

Donald Glover, or should I say Childish Gambino, was a surprise supporting character. He seems to have a dab hand at this acting lark as the socially awkward super genius Rich Purnell. Kristen Wiig played the role of the PR advisor well and proved she can do serious acting. A nice change.

Jeff Daniels was a piece of work as NASA director Teddy Sanders. His sparring with Sean Bean and Chiwetel Ejiofor made for heated viewing. One primarily looking at the costs, the others concerned with the man on Mars.

The heavy theorizing and lab debates in NASA and the world did go on in parts for me and took the story away from Watney. And as Purnell tried to explain his rescue plan using two pens, I feared Armageddon story telling creeping out of the woodwork. It was only by the 1 hour 45 minute marker that I felt a little fidgety.

BUT the finale was just as enthralling and nail biting. If anything, it was everything that I wanted from Gravity. A film that failed to impress.

I was rooting for Watney through the highs and lows. This made me want to check out the bestselling novel. A must see and dare I say it.

4/5

P.S. I couldn’t fight it. I had to . . .

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 2 REVIEW

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DRAGONS! Hiccup and Toothless are back after the DreamWorks animated blockbuster hit the big screens! Bigger? Absolutely. Better? Visually it’s a feast for the eyes. While not surpassing the original, it certainly matches it for story, drama and entertainment. Get the little ‘uns or the big kids (like myself) over to the pics and invest!

So what’s it all about? It’s been five years since Hiccup (Jay Baruchel) and Toothless successfully united dragons and vikings on the island of Berk. While Astrid, Snotlout and the rest of the gang are challenging each other to dragon races (the island’s new favourite contact sport), the now inseparable pair journey through the skies, charting unmapped territories and exploring new worlds. When one of their adventures leads to the discovery of a secret ice cave that is home to hundreds of new wild dragons and the mysterious Dragon Rider, the two friends find themselves at the centre of a battle to protect the peace.

Firstly, 3D not a massive investment to be honest. So save your pennies, parents. The animation is incredible alone. The 3D makes it more prominent but not a must. The detail is stunning. Every little thing, the expressions, the waves as Hiccup and Toothless soar across the seas, brilliant. Anyway, we reunite with the dynamic duo and it is great that the characters have actually aged in the five years. Hiccup does look very different, and weirdly a little like Andy from Toy Story.

The gang are all back, along with the original and very talented voicing cast consisting of Jonah Hill, America Ferrera, Kristen Wiig, Craig Ferguson, Christopher “McLovin” Mintz-Plasse and T. J. Miller. Although, they don’t seem to be in this film as much. They still make a mark and bring the laughs but until the second half really. They seemed to be cast aside and understandably so as the story primarily revolves around Hiccup yet again. Torn between being a dragon rider and taking over the reins of being chief by his pushy but legendary father, Stoick (THIS IS . . . Gerard Butler), Hiccup must make a choice.

The spoiler-ific trailers reveal the identity of the mysterious Dragon Rider which was hardly a surprise twist. But for those who were lucky enough not to see that trailer then don’t worry, I won’t spoil it for you. Djimon Hounsou (Blood Diamond/Gladiator) brings his gravelly gravitas to the sinister Drago with aplomb. It was irritating me who was voicing Eret, the henchman. Firstly because I recognised the voice and secondly because his voice didn’t seem strong enough and didn’t match the character. And low and behold, I know nothing as it was Kit “Jon Snow” Harington (Game of Thrones – obviously). Shame. His conviction didn’t pull it off for me.

However, these are only minor quibbles as there are laughs to be had. Moments that surprise and pluck at the heart strings. It’s riveting, a feast for the eyes with an enthralling visual masterpiece of a finale with Toothless taking on his biggest foe to date. It may not surpass the original as the story may not necessarily break new ground but it is most certainly on par and if rumours are hinting at another, then another I want. I won’t divulge too much as this is one I would recommend that you see. There’s a little something for every one plus DRAGONS, hellooo.

In the words of GB, THIS IS . . . Not a bad sequel. 4 out of 5! Better. See I do like some films, you know!

ANCHORMAN 2: THE LEGEND CONTINUES * REVIEW

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Was it an Anchorman too far?

Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention. I’ve just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I need all of you, to stop what you’re doing and listen. Cannon- No, the verdict is in! The streets, I mean, the box offices will rain with Burgundy’s blood.

A mixed bag. From the get-go, it was random, mental and funny as hell. It ticked all the boxes; the epic voice over, the crazy soundtrack and all the original cast back. But bigger and better? Well . . .

The first 45 minutes were epic. I was worried that this sequel would suffer from a case of “all the best bits in the trailer” syndrome BUT the Winnebago scene was so much funnier than I thought it would be. In fact, some of the trailer tasters weren’t even used. For example when the news anchor team mistake a gay guy for a vampire.

It was always going to be tough to top the original. It was a sleeper hit that, by any standard, shouldn’t have worked. I mean, come on. News anchor street brawls, bear fights and some of the most insane quotes possible! Unfortunately, this time around, it fell short of the hype.

I couldn’t believe it had been over a decade. The cast certainly hadn’t lost any of their mojo BUT once the two hour marker had passed, my smile had gone. That frenetic hilarity of the first half had evaporated into a dull and drawn out affair with the jokes getting worse.

David Koechner’s Champ Kind originally annoyed me in the first one BUT this time around, he was fantastic! BUT Steve Carrell, on the other hand. The legend that was Brick Tamland. He infuriated me the most. He may have delivered the odd moment BUT the dull love subplot with Kristen Wiig’s Chani (Bridesmaids) really spoiled things. It wasn’t what I expected at all.

On paper, the pairing of these two incredibly funny people sounded perfect. Their first encounter was hilarious and the chemistry was superb. BUT it went on far too long and fizzled out very quickly. There wasn’t one quotable gag. Not even an “I LOVE LAMP!”

Anchorman was always ridiculous but enjoyable. Adam McKay and Will Ferrell take this second outing to a whole new level of crazy that just doesn’t quite come off. The outcome of this film will depend on your level of expectation. Some will be left disappointed and peeved while others will love it. BUT for me it’s NOT as good as the original.

There was another news fight brawl and the cameos! My God. I couldn’t believe how many people popped up in those five mental minutes. However, the longer it went on, the sillier it got. It was too much and withered away after a funny if stupidly long build up.

As the film carried on, the gags were very hit and miss. Some were just random as hell and baffling while others had me in tears. There was barely any Baxter this time round. I don’t want to spoil too much BUT it was still very watchable and for a good portion, I enjoyed it.

BUT I wouldn’t hold out for a third outing. IT IS DEFINITELY WORTH A GANDER IF YOU’RE AN ANCHORMAN FAN OR JUST A FAN OF ANY OF THE CAST, JUST DON’T SET YOUR SIGHTS TOO HIGH! (I’m sorry, someone put it in capital letters and an exclamation mark, I thought I had to shout it).

3/5