The end is nigh. Well, the end for the horror genre. Extreme? Hardly. Needed. Damn right! Another example of a regurgitated, predictable, lazy, teen horror movie that desperately attempts to reap from the Paranormal Activity hype. But let’s be honest, that hype died after the first one. Paranormal Activity was a treat, an actual creepy, tension builder, that recreated and improved what the overrated handy-cam trend setter The Blair Witch Project set out. However, too many movies have popped their ugly heads out from that craze and I pray that this be the last but unfortunately the true horror is that it won’t be.
Here we follow cutesie newlyweds Zach (Zach Gilford, you may recognise him. It’s Matt Saracen from the hit TV show Friday Night Lights) and Sam (Alison Miller. Que? Well she was in Terra Nova, the ridiculously expensive prehistoric dino turd that got cancelled. Bad example?) as they get married (Awww. Vom!). Seriously, someone emptied all the whole Parmesan tin on this. They go on an exotic Brazilian honeymoon, get lost, get drunk, suspect taxi driver recommends strange place but takes them before they can say, “Wait a minute”. And that last drink, oh that inevitable last drink instead leading to you being passed out on the bathroom floor, poor Sam gets impregnated by a Satanic cult.
The shoddy hand held camera work is incredibly irritating. It’s like watching my Dad film. Frantically going all over the place and badly out of focus. Did my eyes in. What made me laugh was that it was supposed to be from Zach’s camera. And when it wasn’t, it would switch from other people’s cameras, mobile phones and CCTV. However, they must have given up on the idea because there were several moments where they being watched without the “different cameras”. The usual by the numbers build up started little bumps in the night to strange behaviour leading to an obvious if incredibly ear piercing finale (I mean the screaming. Jesus! We get it, she’s giving birth to Satan or is she? Thanks to a frankly pointless plot hole) , that reeked of every mediocre Paranormal Activity sequel.
The main issue is that either the writers and producers either have never seen Rosemary’s Baby and inadvertently delivered a poor modern day rehash of it or they knew what they were doing which is even more tragic. It’s watchable, only in the hope that you want something to happen. It is incredibly boring for a film that is only 88 minutes long. I couldn’t even argue that was slowburning, leading to an epic conclusion. When the scares do happen, they are limited, predictable and not even jumpy. Jumpy seems to be the only tactic that these films go for. Not genuine tension, good characters that you actually care whether they live or die and actual scares. 1 out of 3 would have sufficed. I jumped more when I was dropping off and the dog barked. Only genuine scare maestro going in this flailing effort. The plot holes came thick and fast. Nothing was explained. SPOILERS! The cult members crept into the house so easily? The blade? What was the deal with that? Why didn’t the little girl say anything after the creepy outburst from Sam that was borderline Exorcist? NO, NO, NO.
In conclusion, a dreadfully dull diabolical demon of a dud. 1.5/5. I’m putting that at #124 out of 128! If anything, the message this film conveys is don’t go abroad and don’t get in a taxi. Brilliant!