*NEW* KONG: SKULL ISLAND REVIEW *NEW*

The MAD MOVIE RANTER

One beast of a blockbuster!

A team of scientists explore an uncharted island in the Pacific, venturing into the domain of the mighty Kong, and must fight to escape a primal Eden.

From the people who gave you Godzilla . . . Greaaattt.

After watching that shambolic dino turd, I feared the worst for the reboot of yet another iconic movie monster.

BUT thankfully, my poison pen didn’t have too much to write about this time.

The mad opening sequence didn’t give me a chance to get comfortable. It felt like a different movie with two Japanese and American WW2 pilots crash landing on Skull Island and having a fight to the death. Mental.

It wasn’t even two minutes before a gigantic paw from a damn dirty ape came hurtling towards the screen.

I was expecting another drawn out blockbuster with the main attraction teased through out. Oh no! This…

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*NEW* POWER RANGERS REVIEW *NEW*

Go, go . . . Watch something else.

Another reboot bites the dust. Messy, corny, long at the tooth. How could a movie involving alien superpowers and giant robots be so god damn boring?

A group of high-school students, who are infused with unique superpowers, harness their abilities in order to save the world.

I grew up with the Power Rangers. The original TV show. I had all the merch; the Red Ranger outfit, the little gloves that made the karate kick sound, the MegaZord, the Green Ranger’s Dragon sword. The list goes on.

To cut a long story short, I’m a fan. Well, was. Of course nearing my 30s, the cynicism was always going to be there. I shouldn’t have been surprised to see my childhood TV show get the Hollywood reboot treatment.

The disorienting shaky handicam opening with bad boy Jason being pursued by the police didn’t build my hopes up.

The pace was a little long at the tooth, to say the least. I understand that the characters are teenagers and the original Power Rangers team never really had a lot of depth to them. Too busy punching putty people to worry about who doesn’t like them at school.

The movies were hardly perfect and got increasingly worse as the franchise turned to Turbo Force, Jungle Rangers and God knows what else.

I could respect that the writers tried to inject some teen angst on these social outcasts BUT it was far too corny and dull for the film. Too serious for its own good.

When things kicked off, my griping was subdued. BUT I didn’t really like the new faces. I did approve of the reshuffling of the colour assignment. A running gag that did draw a cheeky grin. A sly dig at the original show’s writers.

Dacre Montgomery (Stranger Things) didn’t do a bad job as Jason. His character was just such an immature airhead that after all the build-up, his swift transformation to leader of the pack was rushed.

Even I was as cynical as Zordon at his sudden change in behaviour.

Naomi Scott played Kimberley well. Her melodrama was a little tame after all the sulking and acting out. Some cheerleader hazing after sharing a “dodgy” picture. Bleurgh.

I actually liked RJ Cyler (Me, Earl and the Dying Girl) as Billy. A complete change in character. The socially awkward nerd with a suggested learning disability. The glue that kept the gang together.

Trini’s (Becky G) sexuality question mark felt lazy and tacked on. It failed to add any depth to her character. Her parents’ OTT behaviour didn’t help matters either.

Ludi Lin was incredibly irritating as Zack. The one performance that surprised me was Elizabeth Banks. I thought the Pitch Perfect princess would ruin the role of Rita Repulsa BUT she nailed it. Her cold stares, her whispery voice. She was actually quite creepy.

It was only in the silly finale when she tried to apply her comedy schtick that I felt it killed a reasonably decent performance. Shame.

Breaking Bad’s Bryan Cranston was brilliant as Zordon. The Emmy award winning actor was heavily underused in his role. He managed to bring gravitas to a naff grainy PC background.

His frustration and cynicism towards his new found army was a breath of fresh air – “These kids are MY rangers?! They will never be ready”.

Maybe his frustration was genuine after being roped into this movie?

NOT even Bill Hader (Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs) could work his voiceover magic as Alpha Five. The CGI on the android looked terrible. What’s wrong with props and costumes?

 

Yikes!

The gang’s training montages were watchable and entertaining enough. It just didn’t help that the characters were so bland and irritating.

The special effects weren’t too bad. Especially when they finally got to be Power Rangers! Zordon’s underground lair discovery was also quite impressive.

The only problem with a 124 minute film, the Rangers only morphed in the last 20 minutes (If that!). By the time that horrendous remastered theme song blared through the speakers, my fan boy excitement was already gone.

I was fidgeting in my seat for a good portion of the film. Let alone the little ‘uns.

When it got going, it was watchable and the fun if ridiculous finale delivered more of what I expected from the get go. Action packed punch ups, crazy effects and silly banter. If there was to be another, there’s going to be a lot of work to do.

I had to smile at the blink and you’ll miss it cameos BUT I was left disappointed and wanting. No Bulk and Skull? No putty people? Just some stupid rock things.

This could have been so much fun. Alas, it was not to be.

2.5/5 (Just)

*NEW* OKJA REVIEW *NEW*

A bit more than OK, ja?

Meet Mija (Seo-Hyun Ahn), a young girl who risks everything to prevent a powerful, multi-national company from kidnapping her best friend – a massive animal named Okja.

Strange, charming, quirky. What did you expect from the guy who gave us The Host?

I was surprised to see a Bong Joon-ho flick on Netflix. I’m glad the Twitter poll recommended this.

The eclectic opener with Tilda Swinton’s (We Need to Talk About Kevin) brace ridden quirky corporate exec didn’t really give me high hopes.

Swinton doesn’t like to do normal, does she? BUT we wouldn’t have it any other way. The random statistics and animated PowerPoint presentations threw me into a mini-coma.

To cut a long story short, the world is overpopulated and running out of food. Cue the discovery of “super piglet” on a Chilean farm, a litter of little super piglets and a worldwide competition among farmers to grow the biggest pig.

Fast forward 10 years to a beautifully pastoral Korean forest setting. Darius Khondji’s cinematography was breathtaking.

The animation was very good. The detail on Okja was brilliant. A cross between a giant hippo and a elephant with the mannerisms of a dog.

Mija and Okja reminded me of characters from a live action Studio Ghibli animation. I loved the dynamic.

There was an easygoing feel to the piece as we watched the pair hunt and frolic in the woods. Establishing that their bond was more than just a farmer raising her produce.

It wasn’t long before the pair’s safe haven was disrupted by the emergence of the squeaky and highly flamboyant simpleton Johnny Wilcox (Jake Gyllenhaal – Donnie Darko). A fame-seeking animal loving TV host.

God knows what Gyllenhaal was smoking while taking on this role?! He was bloody mental and hilarious. A deluded hypocrite. Scene stealer in every frame he featured.

Of course being “company property”, Okja must return to New York to claim her prize as “best pig” and face her impending fate. Throwing Mija into one mad journey.

Seo-Hyun Ahn was brilliant as the resilient Mija. It takes a lot for a child actor not to infuriate me BUT she played the role perfectly.

The Seoul street chase was a fantastically choreographed and entertaining sequence as Mija ran through alleyways and dived over highway bridges.

Things taking a highly comical turn when a group of animal activists decide to free Okja at the same time. The Animal Liberation Front were a great addition to the mix and featured a surprisingly talented supporting cast.

I couldn’t help but laugh as the gang tried to remain peaceful during Okja’s rescue mission. The friendliest highway robbery I’ve ever seen (“Please co-operate”).

Pointing a gun at the truck driver, demanding he put on his seat belt before ramming him off the road. Swiftly followed by a sincere apology. Desperate not to use violence by any means.

Steven Yuen (Glenn from Walking Dead!) and Paul Dano (Swiss Army Man) were excellent as K and Jay. Dano’s reaction at the speed of the Korean language to English as he asked to be translated was a particular highlight.

Lily Collins (Love, Rosie) did her best to hide those brows from the balaclava BUT I knew it was her before the big reveal.

Devon Bostick has come a long way from his Wimpy Kid days. His character Silver had so much potential BUT didn’t get enough screen time. Refusing to eat in order to leave the smallest carbon footprint.

I felt their characters got lost in the chaos. Shame. And that was kind of the problem; the pace lumbered things drastically especially during the middle act that I could feel myself fidgeting.

Breaking Bad’s Giancarlo Esposito was wasted in his minute role as Mirando’s underling.

I was happy to see Trainspotting’s Shirley Henderson feature. Moaning Myrtle just doesn’t get a break.

The second half certainly delivered a more rewarding affair BUT I didn’t expect the direction it took. I would have said that this was a kid’s film right up until Okja’s incarceration in a New York lab.

Bong Joon-ho brilliantly encapsulated the GM food crisis perfectly. Showing the brutal treatment of animals. I’m not a vegetarian BUT even I was left feeling queasy. Especially during the “natural non-forced breeding” process.

The gruelling underbelly of corporate control as Swinton’s Mirando tried to turn Mija and Okja’s bond into one big PR stunt to help change her company’s bad image.

I thought Snowpiercer was dreadful. The saving grace (Sorry, Chris Evans) being Tilda Swinton. I was getting disappointed at her lack of screen time. That was until the mad final act. She delivered everything I expected.

The closing minutes left food for thought making this a rewarding and charming little film (If a little long at the tooth) that delivered raw social commentary and mad humour.

A pleasant surprise.

3.5/5 (Just)

*NEW* WONDER WOMAN REVIEW *NEW*

The best DC movie yet. But is that saying a lot?

Superhero movie of the year? Or overhyped drivel?

Gal Gadot, be still my beating heart.

Before she was Wonder Woman, she was Diana, princess of the Amazons, trained warrior. When a pilot (Chris Pine) crashes and tells of conflict in the outside world, Diana leaves home to fight a war, discovering her full powers and true destiny.

The only interesting character in Batman Vs Superman. Bearing in mind; I had no idea who she was or what she was actually doing (and why for that matter?)

Now we finally get some answers. Sort of.

The best DC movie outing but that doesn’t say much.

The opening origin story with young Diana was entertaining enough.

I never read the DC comics and knew only a little of the TV show with Lynda Carter. I don’t remember all this God stuff BUT the writers even managed to make the Lasso of Truth a believable (and lethal) weapon.

The 300 style training montage with the glorious Greek goddesses kept things ticking over as Diana defied her mother’s wishes by training to fight.

Robin Wright (House of Cards) and Connie Nielsen (Gladiator) were both underused as Diana’s sparring mother and aunt. One desperate to see Diana reach her potential, the other weary of it.

It was a little cheesy BUT it hit the spot as Diana grew stronger. The truth about her abilities rearing its ugly head just as a WW1 plane crashes into their safe haven. Opening a whole new world for our heroine.

The film was injected with the right balance of humour and heart. Something sorely missed in the other DC efforts . . . So far.

One particular highlight involving Diana, clad with sword and shield, strolling through a department store perplexed at the “battle” attire women wear.

The WW1 setting was a perfect focal point for our heroine. The film delicately handled sexism and politics quite well as Diana demanded to know why women couldn’t fight, vote or speak.

Not bad for a superhero movie.

The 3D was disappointing and hardly worth the ticket price BUT the special effects and action pieces were superb.

The No-Man’s land battle sequence was fantastic.

The chemistry between Gadot and Pine was perfect. A great duo. Steve’s bewilderment and Diana’s defiant (if slightly naive) approach to achieving her objective was the glue that kept this piece together.

The banter and bubbling tension helped drudge the meandering pace (which tragically could have been cut by a good 20 minutes).

I loved the supporting cast. It was great to see Lucy Davis (The Office) back in the limelight. She was hilarious as Steve’s long suffering secretary. Diana’s reaction when she was told the purpose of a secretary was brilliant; “So you’re a slave?”

Of course, Diana and Steve couldn’t achieve their mission alone. They needed a rag tag team of misfits. Said Taghmaoui (American Hustle) was highly comical as Sameer.

I was elated to see ol’ Spud (Ewen Bremner -Trainspotting) as the drunk and disillusioned Charlie.

Eugene Brave Rock was a little weak as the poorly titled Chief. BUT he was nowhere near as weak as the villain.

Danny Huston (X-Men Origins: Wolverine) was dreadfully bland and not quite as sinister as I had hoped. Reduced to popping pills and gurning some serious faces. Shame.

Elena Anaya (The Skin I Live In) drew more chills as Dr Poison (A terrible name!) with her scar and scary mask.

The finale was drawn out. It felt like the Man of Steel; once you’ve seen one super being smash another through set piece after set piece, it soon got a little repetitive.

Plus it rushed to such an abrupt ending that I was left wanting. Good in one sense but bad in another.

The only problem was that from all the hype, I also expected something a little more.

I have nothing against a strong female character taking the helm and to adapt a dated 70s TV show and make some of the sillier aspects into something empowering and less farfetched was a great feat.

BUT the drawn out pace and plot holed story line hindered an exhilarating blockbuster.

I was left asking questions (POTENTIAL SPOILERS, maybe?); if the Amazonian island was shielded away from the world – why was Trevor’s plane the one to break through? Explain the other wars after WW1 if Wonder Woman’s mission was to stop the God of War? What was she doing for the next century? Surely not sitting in a museum?

BUT for all its flaws, WW was still entertaining, engaging (if a little long at the tooth) and DC’s best effort to date.

There might be some hope for them after all.

3.5/5 (Just)

*DON’T SIT THROUGH THE CREDITS – there are NO extras, teasers, NADA*

*NEW* LA LA LAND REVIEW *NEW*

The MAD MOVIE RANTER

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Over-hyped drivel.

Well, that’s what I thought I was going to say.

Overrated, maybe? But as much as I tried to resist the crazy hype train, I still couldn’t help but fall for this highly watchable and entertaining romp.

A jazz pianist (Ryan Gosling) falls for an aspiring actress (Emma Stone) in Los Angeles.

The opening sequence did nothing to win me over. Despite director Damien Chazelle’s opening credit titles and Cinemascope capture mimicking the days of old; it was too much.

People jumping out of their cars, free-runners . . . free-running, the word ‘chaotic’ doesn’t come close. I couldn’t even hear the lyrics being sung.

All that was missing was a truck with some bongo players in the back . . . Oh, wait, no. There they are.

The soundtrack was a little disappointing. The first two or three songs were highly unmemorable.

Chazelle’s disorienting camera work and…

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*NEW* DEADPOOL REVIEW *NEW*

The MAD MOVIE RANTER

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Stupid, ridiculous, violent and . . . not bad at all.

I couldn’t think of anybody better than “God’s Perfect Idiot” to take on the iconic role of everybody’s new favourite foul mouthed anti-hero.

How many chances can Ryan Reynolds have bringing a comic book character to the silver screen? Thankfully third time’s the charm.

A fast-talking mercenary with a morbid sense of humor is subjected to a rogue experiment that leaves him with accelerated healing powers and a quest for revenge.

From the mental opening sequence, I knew what I was getting myself into. A lewd, crude, brutal BUT incredibly funny shoot em up.

The way people were raving about Deadpool; you would have thought you’ve never seen Ryan Reynolds shout and scream profanities!

The film swiftly flicked back and forth between Deadpool’s relentless revenge spree to his “unconventional” love story with the feisty hooker Vanessa (Morena Baccharin –…

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*NEW* SUICIDE SQUAD REVIEW *NEW*

The MAD MOVIE RANTER

Suicide-Squad-poster

Meh. I didn’t hate it. Didn’t love it either.

Based on the DC Comic, the government gives a team of supervillains a chance at redemption. The catch: their mission will probably kill them all.

The first 30 minutes was brilliant. It hit the ground running and got straight to business.

Director David Ayer’s rapid quick cut editing and mad eclectic soundtrack ticked all the boxes as each dysfunctional member of this demented squad were introduced with their own theme song and back story.

A little silly BUT it gave off that Guardians of the Galaxy vibe.

BUT despite doing a good job of flicking through everybody’s origins and getting them into the mix as quickly as possible, more time should have spent on that.

I don’t think newbies or non-DC fans need to know too much going in BUT I was more intrigued in the back stories we were teased…

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