Finally! Long overdue. After weeks of anticipation, I watched the monster that’s tearing the box office to pieces and . . .  I wasn’t impressed.

22 years on and another Jurassic Park sequel graces the silver screen. I loved the original. An iconic piece of film making that I have no trouble watching again and again. Trust me I have lost many a Sunday afternoon.

When I saw the trailers, I was excited. It was always going to be hard not to draw comparisons. BUT this is just about en par with the misfire that was Jurassic Park III.

A new theme park is built on the original site of Jurassic Park. Everything is going well until the park’s newest attraction, a genetically modified giant stealth killing machine, escapes containment and goes on a killing spree.

Apart from unintentionally sparking a race quibble with an inappropriately named dinosaur, the film was flawed from the get go. You didn’t know about the little race row? Allow Mobeen and Lamboo to educate you . . .

It wasn’t all bad. Don’t get me wrong. I was just a little disappointed. The hype certainly not helping. The opening didn’t things going. Of course, the Jurassic films always had that slow burning build up before the dinos would inevitably break free or unleash mayhem.

BUT it didn’t help that the characters were so cliched and uninteresting. Nick Robinson and Ty Simpkins’ divorce stricken brothers were irritating beyond relief.

Judy Greer was reduced to another minor and meaningless supporting role as their mum (Did she not learn from Tomorrowland?). Thankfully she was able to deliver the best line of the film; “Remember. If something chases you. RUN!”

Chris Pratt. The man of the hour. Was pretty much being . . . Chris Pratt. Normally, it works but his smooth talking and snappy one liners didn’t really deliver this time around. I felt like I was watching Star Lord from Guardians of The Galaxy as a raptor handler. Is this the only character he can play? I mean, he fared better as the film went on. Especially when it all kicked off and he had to step up. Actually trying to be a different character.

The lovely Bryce Dallas Howard was very good as the workaholic aunt hell bent on making Jurassic World a money making business. It shouldn’t have worked but I liked how she managed to evade dinosaurs, fight raptors and chase after her nephews . . . in heels. Her running style was a little too comical and it did kill a bit of the tension but well done.

Also there was a scene in which her character had to ride a helicopter with an inexperienced pilot. The noises and faces she was pulling were verging on orgasmic. God knows what that was about? Once the corny introductions were made between her and Pratt, they actually gelled quite well together and had some good chemistry.

Vincent D’Onofrio did his best with his character Hoskins. BUT the problem is that it’s all been done to death before with Ingen. It really was the same old guff. We had all the backstabbing and hidden agendas in The Lost World. No twists. Too predictable and dull.

It was great for the hardcore fans to see the return of B.D Wong as Dr Henry Wu. (Wu who? Come on, you remember him. Thank God. Neither did I) and Irrfan Khan as the eccentric millionaire Masrani who resurrected the park. He really channels his inner John Hammond with his passion and enthusiasm. BUT all we know how that’s going to end.

And for some reason, he is the only helicopter pilot on the whole island. Seriously? All those soldiers, weapons and dinosaurs. No pilots. Times must be hard.

I feared with the overindulgence of CGI in films these days that the dinos would fail to reach the levels that Stan Winston had delivered. When Jurassic World was first unveiled, the iconic John Williams score blaring from the surround speakers, that excitement from my inner fan boy still buzzed.

BUT once the score had subsided, I realised how rubbish the layout of Jurassic World actually looked. I’m not sure whether writer/director Colin Trevorrow  was making a statement at how corporate involvement can ruin every aspect. If so, then fair play. If not, then the set designers need a little talking too. It looked like a cheap Dino Disneyland.

The real stars for me were thankfully the prehistoric predators. And they still stole the show. The animation and special effects were fantastic! The chase sequences were tense, exhilarating and racy. Everything I had hoped for.

And the introduction of a new dinosaur picked up massive points. A creepy introduction helped deliver a new dino demon. A simple question about what happened to it’s sibling. A cold stare and dead expression from Howard and I was intrigued. “She ate it” (The dino. NOT Howard).

Every time the Indominus Rex (Terrible name, I know) appeared, I felt that same fear as a little kid when the raptors and T-Rex appeared in Jurassic Park. The gene-splicing element certainly made things a lot more interesting. A new intelligent species that hunts for sport. Brilliant.

The jungle sabotage sequence was superb. A perfect homage to Aliens. The dino camouflaged in the trees. The mercenaries’ designated screens with their lifelines beeping in the background. The inevitable outcome reaching it’s nail biting conclusion.

Funny enough as the dinos were unleashed, the two lads actually improved. They worked together and were nowhere near as annoying as Lex and Tim from the first one. They were clever and used some crafty techniques to evade being a dino’s dinner. Redeemed.

Jake Johnson (New Girl) managed to steal some scenes as the new ‘Dennis’, I mean, Larry. A mad tech geek that really hasn’t got a clue. He delivered the laughs that Pratt and co failed to.

Trevorrow certainly appealed to the JP fan in me. There were a number of nods and references that made me smile without spoiling everything. Even the annoying Mr DNA made an appearance. Cudos.

Anyone who is a LOST fan will realise how desperate composer Michael Giacchino has needed a movie like this to score. He delivers another fantastic soundtrack and takes on the reins of John Williams with aplomb.

The 3D was disappointing. There wasn’t much that stood out. And for the price and promise, I expected more things to fly out the screen. Shame.

There were a few unanswered plot points which left things open for another. And with the money it’s taking, no doubt there will be.

The special effects were immense (The pterodactyl attack – Words escape me), the dinosaurs stole the show but can we have some better characters? All the naff one liners and cheesy encounters just made me miss Doctors Grant and Malcolm. Hell, even Laura Dern’s ear piercing wailing.

For me, it’s a 3 (Just)/5



  1. That was a delightful read and I really need to see this. (And I feel for anyone trying to film that Mobeen rant without smirking the entire time). 😀

    1. Thank you. It has definitely split people but let me know what you think when you get round to it. I know, right? That Mobeen rant. I smashed up my cup and said NO! Lol

  2. Good review! Personally I think 3/5 is merciful. What carried me through was the effects and the genetics. The “splicing” attaches a link to the (not so) distant future and adds a additional layer to the original DNA technology awe that the first JP offered. But the storyline and the characters had me face palming (palm of the hand) multiple times.

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